


Hellfire

by dhapin



Category: Ghost Rider (Comics), New Mutants, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7088728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhapin/pseuds/dhapin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ShadowSaiyan316 requested that I consider a story involving Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze) and Illyana.  Never really been a fan of Ghost Rider, but the Ghost Rider character does present interesting interactions possibilities with Illyana and the X-Men.  To my knowledge Illyana and Ghost Rider have never met.</p><p>This is an Illyana 3.0 story that takes place while Kurt and Illyana are in Mexico, as mentioned in Extraordinary X-Men 8, page 1.  </p><p>All of my information about Ghost Rider has come from Wikipedia (as again I'm not a fan) where I found that the current writers have given Johnny a half Hispanic brother (gee who knew).  I figure Robbie speaks Spanslish a bunch (English and Spanish mixed together).</p><p>This is both an action and humor story.</p><p>This story is dedicated to ShadowSaiyan316 as it was his request that sparked this.  I let him review a prelim copy and he thought that:  It sounded like a business retreat from hell. Two Spirits of Vengeance, two hell lords, a car and a weekend with free time to kill.  In short it has all the makings of a buddy movie.</p><p>Which I guess it kind of is...  Well enjoy.  As always comments are greatly desired.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Part 1: Another fine mess that you've gotten me into (part 1)**

 

The sky was a bright burnt orange with no sun and the land was a dust filled undulating rocky desert. The hot air was flavored with the dry tang of dust, burnt diesel, and old death. Distant craggy peaks could be seen in the far distance. A winding white road, with many sharp turns, was etched into the landscape like an old jagged scar. Upon that road a black Dodge Charger fled at high speed, being pursued by a pack of riders. The car was enveloped in red and orange flames and had two occupants.

 

The driver was one known as Robbie Reyes, a male half Hispanic teenager and somewhat disputed recent Ghost rider; he was supposedly not a true Spirit of Vengeance (likely a union dues thing, Johnny was somewhat vague on the specifics when the topic came up). Robbie currently had a flaming helmet-like head and was dressed in black car racing leathers with spikes and chains as he was in his Ghost Rider incarnation.

 

The passenger, riding shotgun both figuratively and literally, was Johnny Blaze; the real Ghost Rider if you bought into all the bullshit that Johnny liked to sell (Robbie was a skeptical buyer, he'd bought into Amway's spiel once and things had not gone well). Johnny was also Robbie's half brother via their common sperm donor of a father (gee thanks Dad, any other unknown siblings you'd like to tell me about?). Johnny was likewise in his Ghost rider incarnation of black motorcycle leathers, chains, and a flaming skull head.

 

Currently Johnny was leaning out the passenger window, facing backwards, and was firing hellfire blasts from his shotgun at the pursuing foe (the foe being a pack of demons wearing cowboy hats and mounted on demonic Velociraptor like creatures).

 

 _"Any more bright ideas Bro!'"_ Screamed Robbie as he fought the steering wheel; the ride was beyond rough being that the road was made from compacted bones and skulls (which makes for great slow motion roster tails of debris as the car spun around corners) _"You total gringo idiota"!_

Robbie continued his screaming complaints. _"Great idea Bro'! Let's go to Mexico City for the week and checkout the Day of the Dead little brother! Kick back and have some Tecates and chase coño"!_ Eighteen being the legal drinking age in Mexico, not that anybody cared much about such things if you were a Ghost Rider.

_"How the FUCK was I to know"?!_ Screamed Johnny back as he continued to fire at the pursuing demons. _"I thought she was just a demon"!_

_"Aren't you supposed to know this kind of crap?! You're the one always name dropping"!_

_"Cut me some slack! I don't remember reading about her in the Who's Who of Hell_ (There actually is such a book) _. Oh SHIT! Left! Jerk **Left! Left for the love of...'**!_

Robbie jerked the steering wheel left, the empty road was quite wide, sufficient for two lanes of traffic in each direction.

 

A roaring fireball descended upon the road right where the car would have been, the resulting explosion blasting a crater and sending up a fountain of dirt and bones. A burning skull broke though the right hand rear passenger window and rattled about after bouncing off of the back of Robbie helmet.

 

The stereo then turned itself on and thundered (man that car had some major subwoofers and the volume knob did go to eleven), after all car chase scenes are supposed to have a soundtrack. One Way Or Another by Blondie & The Undertones began to play at... oh 120 decibels or so.

 

_One way or another I'm gonna find you_

_I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you_

_One way or another I'm gonna win you_

_I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you_

_One way or another I'm gonna see you_

_I'm gonna meet you, meet you, meet you, meet you_

_One day, maybe next week_

_I'm gonna meet you, I'm gonna meet you, I'll meet you_

_I will drive past your house_

_And if the lights are all down_

_I'll see who's around_

_..._

_..._

 

Robbie briefly fiddled with the stereo but nothing changed, he gave up as he had more pressing concerns.

Robbie continued to angrily shout while spinning the car around yet another dead man's turn. _"Be cool you said! We got this you said! It'll be easy you said! Follow my lead you said! Well... we're in Hell you stupid hijo de puta! **HELL!** My la mamá de is going to kill me if she ever finds out"!_

Jonny pulled himself back into the car. _"I think the highway patrol is going to kill us first! Can't you make this thing go any faster?! And how the hell to you turn this stereo off'"!_

Robbie calmly informed Johnny of the road conditions. Ok, not so calmly, he screamed even louder _"The Fing road is made out of bone man! Bones! Who the hell makes a road out of bones?! And no the stereo won't turn off! I think that coño caliente that you've found us is doing it"!_

 

Johnny shouted back (the road noise was truly appalling and so was the car's vibration _). "Hell does! Be glad it's not lava! Every try braking on Lave?! You hydroplane all over the place"!_

Robbie screamed a rather important question. _"And why are we still here Bro'!? I thought you could travel the planes! Well... get our asnos muertos out of here"!_

_"Bitch is blocking us somehow! I can't"!_

_"Mierda! Mierda! Mierda!. We are so Fing dead"!_

_"We already died you dumb shit! Shut-up and drive! I'll think of something"!_

Robbie was less then hopeful as to Johnny's problem solving skills. _"Like setting her on fire!? That worked out great! Punish her for her sins! Here little brother, let me show you how it's done! Fantastic job there Bro'! And you just had to pick the hottest Chicka around! Why can't it ever be a fat old waitress"?!_

_"Shut-up"!_

_"You Shut-up. What... what's that up ahead"?_

Both of them intently stared at something in the distance. Then they both uttered girlyman screams (just like little girls on a rollercoaster for the first time).

Yep, the Ghost riders were speeding down a highway in hell, being pursed by the law like a bad Dukes of Hazard remake being shot on location in Death Valley.

 

But it wasn't hell. It was...

 

Limbo.

 

Not that our dynamic duo knew that. Well... at least not yet.

The car sped on to it's next encounter, accompanied by the screams of the occupants, the riders behind them (well a few less riders now, that shotgun was rather effective), the skull that kept rattling about in the back, and the stereo thundering out the last of the song.

_..._

_One way or another I'm gonna see you_

_I'm gonna meet you, meet you, meet you, meet you_

_One way or another I'm gonna win you_

_I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you_

_(I wanna hold you, wanna hold you tight)_

_One way or another I'm gonna see you_

_(I wanna hold you, wanna hold you tight)_

_I'm gonna meet you, meet you, meet you, meet you_

_(I wanna hold you, wanna hold you tight)_

_One way or another I'm gonna win you_

...

...

 

Somebody was having fun, but it wasn't them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahh... the time honored tradition of the Marvel crossover. Double the sales by making diverse fan bases have to buy comics out of there traditional purchase zones. Enjoyable when done right but... so often done wrong.
> 
> Hero on hero action (hot or otherwise) tends to be so... predictable so I've tried to avoid the routine hero vs. hero fight. I think that I've already come up with a better Ghost Rider crossover then any that have come before. Let's see how it develops.
> 
> Oh, and why Kurt? I find it odd that Illyana and Kurt rarely interact on the pages of the comic. And Extraordinary X-Men 8, page 1 does show Kurt fighting alone in Mexico with Illyana nowhere in sight (which I address in this story).
> 
> Hmm... I read somewhere that Johnny and Robbie were half brothers, but now can't find it. How is that possible? I saw it on the Internet.... Oh well, for this story I guess they're now related.

**Part 2: Mexico (part 1, or what came before)**

So how did this dubious situation develop? Let's turn the clock back an hour or so.

 

We find two Extraordinary X-Men, Illyana (Magik) and Kurt (Nightcrawler) in Mexico City attending an anti-mutant rally at the historic plaza. One side of the plaza was an old majestic cathedral, upon whose steps the anti mutant speaks were speaking from a podium. Shops and stores line the other sides of the plaza, including some open air cafes.

 

Illyana and Kurt were walking unseen among the crowd due to a minor obscurement spell by Illyana, to others they just looked like fellow crowd attendees.

 

Kurt whispered to Illyana. _"Not good Fraulein, the crowd is getting uglier"._

Illyana coldly eyed the crowd. _"Yes.... I've seen the look before. The lust for violence grows. Bigger the crowd, lower the IQ"._

_"And the Polizei are doing nothing except standing by"._

_"Kurt, some of them are cheering along with the crowd"._

Kurt sighed. _"Yes Illyana, I see that as well. So where are the mutants that we came here to save"?_

_"The protest flier promised to show the enemy, the horror that threatens Mexico. For some odd reason I can't detect exactly where they are. They are here, but hidden. Very suspicious, smells of power"._

_"So I suppose we just keep mingling with the crowd and wait"._

_"You found nothing in the Catholic church"?_

_"Nothing out of the ordinary. The Priests are worried that a riot will break out. I must confess that the faith frowns upon former Priests breaking into sanctuaries and fighting. Wouldn't want to lose my Catholic card, I get fifteen percent off in the gift shops and get bumped to the front of the line for confession"._

Illyana gave a chuckle. _"Ha ha. You joke about it Kurt, but your faith means so very much to you"._

_"Yes it does Illyana. Mind if I ask you a question"?_

_"Shoot'"._

They were walking by the outdoor cafes. Behind them two men were sitting at one of the tables, likely somewhat drunk due to the number of beer bottles on the table. One was a blond Anglo-Saxon, the other was a dark haired Hispanic man. Unbeknownst to the two X-Men, the blond man was pointing at her and Kurt's direction and saying something.

_"Why did you ask the Ororo send me with you on this mission? I'd have thought you'd want to bring your brother or our oddly aged Wolverine"._

Illyana gave Kurt another sideways glance. _"I wanted some alone time with you, away from prying eyes and wagging tongues"._

_"Why? Not that I'm complaining about spending time with a pretty Fraulein"._

_"Flatterer. It's not that... Well... Ok part of it is that. You are very... attractive. Kitty always had a secret crush on you and so did... Umm..."._

Kurt smiled, he did so love to flirt, and it was so rare to fluster Illyana.

Illyana regained her train of thought. _No it's just that I avoided you for so long back in Utopia and then you... died. I wanted to... explain myself. Explain why I hid myself away from you"._

_"You were not well then Illyana, I understand"._

_"No Kurt, you likely don't. That's why we need to talk. Why do you think I avoided you back then"?_

The two men at the table stood up, the blonde threw some bills on the table and the two of them started walking in the direction of Illyana and Kurt.

_"Well..."_ Kurt was eyeing the crowd. A new speaker had taken the podium and was busy comparing mutants to devils. _"I assumed that former friendships and relationships made you uncomfortable due to your inability to feel and the weight of your trauma. You needed space, needed time to come to grips with... well everything. I didn't want to push"._

_"No... You scared me"._

_"How"?_ Most people who were scared of Kurt were scared due to his appearance. Looking like a blue furry three fingered fanged devil tends to be off putting even for the best and open minded of people. Illyana was not one of these people. Hell, her Darkchilde devil aspect was much scarier, and people were wise to be scared.

 

_"You were good"._

Kurt had no answer and just let Illyana continue.

_"You looked like the devil and you were good. So much bad happened to you and you were... good. You had a soul and everything. I was so... scared of that. I felt so... low when I thought of you or saw you. Just another example of how inadequate I was. You were so much... better then me. I... I had my plan and I just knew that you'd figure it out or somehow talk me out of it if we interacted so... so we didn't. I avoided you, the same as I avoided Kitty and... I was wrong. So very wrong. I think... I think that you would have helped me find a better way to regaining my soul then the path I was on. The path I took. I was... very blind and... made no attempt to see"._

Before Kurt had a chance to say anything there was a shout behind them.

 

_"Demons! Hell spawn! Turn and face your judgment"!_

They both turned, surprised that they could be seen. Turned just as they were both enveloped in a blast of Hellfire fired by the blond man. Hellfire that burns the soul without leaving physical injuries on the victim.

 

Kurt found it painful (we all have caused other's harm), but Illyana?

 

The Illyana who had done so much harm and had caused so much harm?

The Illyana who had left a trail of bodies across Asgard in her youth?

The Illyana who had waged war in Limbo?

The Illyana that had slain countless numbers of demons and non demons?

The Illyana who had caused her friends and brother such harm?

The Illyana who, as Phoenix, had tortured and imprisoned so many?

The Illyana that had soul raped Megan?

 

Well... that Illyana went mad.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I figure if Illyana is attracted to anyone in the current Extraordinary X-Men lineup that it would likely be Kurt. Now we all know that Illyana is closeted Kitty obsessed, but we also know that Illyana will never initiate anything along those lines with Kitty (that being left to Kitty) as she values Kitty way to much to mess up that friendship. Now I think that Marvel will actually be having Illyana get involved with somebody (i.e. Lea of Hel) but I'm slightly hedging my bets with this story.
> 
> Soooo... Our two boys are in a Hell (Limbo, not that they know that yet) and apparently we now partially know what caused it; in that Illyana was a recipient of Ghost Rider's Hellfire which can force the recipient to experiences all the pain they had ever inflicted on anyone else. Likely not a good thing for Illyana as she has hurt so many people.
> 
> When I first started working on an Illyana story involving Ghost Rider I found out about Robbie Reyes and his Dodge Charger. First idea was that they would be captured and tortured, but that was boring and I've done that before (See my story Mistakes were made). I then imagined a car chase across Limbo in the Dodge Charger and this story crystallized.

**Part 3: Another fine mess that you've gotten me into (part 2)**

The burning black Dodge Charger, now an involuntary convertible, was speeding away from the terrifying encounter that the two of them had been screaming about. Oh... FYI the car had a (Feel the Bern) political bumper sticker (Robbie was a big Bernie fan).

Robbie was looking up at the now missing car roof and was busy screaming about how the roof had gone missing. _"It sucked the roof right off the car and swallowed! **FUCK**! Estamos tan jodido"!_

Johnny was equally worked up. He'd fired a few blasts of Hellfire only to find that the creature, which looked like a red T-Rex dinosaur with the circular mouth of a lamprey, had paid the fire no mind.

 

 _"Drive faster Robbie"!_ Was Johnny's only comment. Yea, faster was a good idea. Now they were being followed by the weird T-Rex and the Velociraptor mounted demons. Sucks to be popular. Johnny refrained from saying that it couldn't get any worse. He knew that it could always get worse.

 

Johnny was franticly trying to come up with something, anything, but he was drawing a blank. Almost vanishing down that tooth filled chainsaw of a gullet was not helping to get the creative juices flowing. Nor was his massive desire to pee, they had consumed mucho beers back in Mexico City and now some other juices really wanted to flow. Robbie had a bladder the size of two liter jug, or so he liked to boast; boy could pee for two minutes straight Johnny's was more pint sized and it was very very full.

 

Robbie yelled over the wind noise, road noise, vibration, and the stereo which was now playing Good Good Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys. _"You really mean to tell me that you have no idea just who the que rabia perra del infierno is"?!_

 

_..._

_I'm pickin' up good vibrations_

_She's giving me excitations (Oom bop bop)_

_I'm pickin' up good vibrations (Good vibrations, oom bop bop)_

_She's giving me excitations (Excitations, oom bop bop)_

_Good, good, good, good vibrations (Oom bop bop)_

_She's giving me excitations (Excitations, oom bop bop)_

_Good, good, good, good vibrations (Oom bop bop)_

_She's giving me excitations (Excitations)_

_..._

_"Shut that fucking stereo up"!_ Johnny suddenly screamed, then, using his shotgun, fired a hellfire burst into the dashboard, thereby blowing the stereo to bits.

 

The stereo died as a lost _"gooddddd vvvibbbrrrratiiionsssssss..."_ warbled in slow motion.

Robbie was pissed, bad enough that they were in hell (again!) but now Johnny was shooting at the car. _"Chill Bro'! That's so uncool! Cálmate tonto"!_

Then... ominously... another song began to play on the car speakers, even though the stereo was shattered mass of sparking electrical parts and plastic.

 

_Please allow me to introduce myself_

_I'm a man of wealth and taste_

_I've been around for a long, long year_

_Stole many a man's soul to waste_

 

It was [Sympathy For The Devil](https://play.google.com/music/m/T6skkbvlhhlrxcsk6p5otkauqmm?signup_if_needed=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics) by [The Rolling Stones](https://play.google.com/music/preview/Awzwm4jcbbi6kjfvsetcte5mdbq?utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics)

_And I was 'round when Jesus Christ_

_Had his moment of doubt and pain_

_Made damn sure that Pilate_

_Washed his hands and sealed his fate_

_Pleased to meet you_

_Hope you guess my name_

_But what's puzzling you_

_Is the nature of my game_

_I stuck around St. Petersburg_

_When I saw it was a time for a change_

_Killed the czar and his ministers_

_Anastasia screamed in vain_

_I rode a tank_

_Held a general's rank_

_When the blitzkrieg raged_

_And the bodies stank_

_Pleased to meet you_

_Hope you guess my name, oh yeah_

_Ah, what's puzzling you_

_Is the nature of my game, oh yeah_

_(Woo woo, woo woo)_

_..._

_..._

 

A creature began to take form in the back seat. It was a man red of flesh. He had wild and crazy longish blackish red hair. He wore a tattered red cloak with a high collar, both the cloak and his hair were flapping madly the car's slipstream, and a tattered red loin cloth. His feet were concealed by elegant red leather boots and he was wearing a red cowboy hat; which somehow remained in place despite the slip stream. In short he looked like a devil minus a tail on his way to a western. He was grinning and singing along with the song.

 

...

_I shouted out,_

_Who killed the Kennedys?_

_When after all_

_It was you and me_

_(Who who, who who)_

_Let me please introduce myself_

_I'm a man of wealth and taste_

_And I laid traps for troubadours_

_Who get killed before they reached Bombay_

_(Woo woo, who who)_

_..._

Johnny turned in his seat to confront...

 

" ** _Mephisto!_** _I should have known this was all your doing"!_ Screamed Johnny who then fired the shotgun at Mephisto.

 

Mephisto held up his right palm and deflected the hellfire shot, similar to Darth Vader deflecting shots from Han Solo in Empire strikes back.

 

Mephisto continued to smile as he spoke. He wasn't shouting, yet he could be clearly heard over the appalling noise. He had a voice like broken glass and razor blades stuffed into a burning garbage disposal, yet it also sounded a bit like the country singer Johnny Cash.

 

_"Johnny boy! How's it hanging my man? Sorry to disappoint, but none of this is my doing"._

_"So she's one of yours!"_ snarled Johnny as he continued to fire at Mephisto who continued to knock the shots away, rather like he was playing ping pong with just his hands as paddles.

 

_"Wrong again Johnny boy. That toothsome filly is not yet part of my herd, though I'd love to have her on team Mephisto. She's a thinker and a doer! No no Johnny boy, this little sitcom is all on you and your Bro'"._

Johnny finally relented on firing the shotgun as it wasn't making a difference. _"Why are you here"?!_

_"Just couldn't resist. Who doesn't love a road trip and your little predicament just had me rolling on the floor. Rolling I tell you! Since you're mine, in so many ways, I was able to manifest here and join in this little escapade"._

**_"Get out"!_** Screamed Johnny.

Mephisto wiped away an imaginary tear _"Ahhh, always quick with the rejection Johnny boy. Makes a fellow feel... unwelcome. Oh well, guess I'll just mossy on back to Hell as it were. Just me and my knowledge of who and what you're fighting. Toodles! I'll just be going now..."._ Mephisto started to fade away.

 

Johnny hated saying it (well... in reality screaming it over the noise) but... he needed answers and he needed them now, and... damn it he so wanted to pee (but stopping for some relief was a real bad idea). _"Shit... Wait! I can't believe I'm asking you but... Just who... what is she"?!_

 

Mephisto faded back in. _"Oh... So now you want me around. You never call, never say hello, ignore my emails, you even pretend you don't see me in the checkout line when I wave at you. Rejecting an old old friend like me, after all the... "_ Mephisto smiled a smile that was not nice at all. " _good times we've had"._

 

Mephisto leaned back in the set, crossed his legs, smiled, and continued. _"It's good to see you Johnny, I've missed you. Soooo... I take it that this is your little brother. Introduce me if you please"._

**_"Bastard"!_** Snarled Johnny as he unleashed his chain to bind Mephisto. Well... he tried to unleash his chain, what resulted was that a truncated chain erupted about a foot from Johnny's waist and then convulsed, the end glowing white hot as if somebody had chopped the end of it off.

 

Johnny screamed in pain and the chain went limp.

 

 _"That's gotta hurt"_ Mephisto leaned forward and spoke with a sympathetic tone and expression. _"Need to take it easy on the chain for a while Johnny boy; give the enchantment and magic time to heal from what she did to you. Tsk, tsk, so sad. I remember when your chain was so long and... firm. Now its become small and... flaccid. I do hope that this doesn't translate into other physical inadequacies"._

_"How... how was that even possible"_ Johnny gasped in pain. _"Nobody's ever been able to cut the chain before! I thought it was unbreakable"!_

 

Mephisto had a kindly look, like a wise old uncle explaining the facts of life. _"You boys picked_ _t_ _he wrong coño to mess with. She's three and O so far when it comes to dealing with the baddest of the bad asses. Girl is very... impressive; thought so from the moment I saw her but I had to hide that little factoid away from the little gathering I was at"._

Robbie shouted a question as they went around yet another bend in the road. _"Damn it! Who is she"?!_

 

Mephisto leaned back. _"I'll answer when you both agree that I get to stay and run the race with you by your side as a passenger. This is just too delicious to miss. Deal"?_

Shit. And the day had started so well, beers, taco's, and a chance at quality coño with big hooters. No sense in asking why Mephisto wanted to hang around, he would likely lie; although Johnny did have to admit that things were looking very... grim. Crap! They needed information and they needed it **now**.

 

Johnny threw in additional conditions. _"Deal, but we want lots of details, not just some lame snippet of an answer"!_

Mephisto looked Robbie in the eyes, via the rear view mirror, with a questioning look.

 

 _"Deal"!_ Shouted Robbie.

 

Mephisto smiled and began to speak (Robbie noticed that Mephisto's teeth were rather sharp).

 

_"You boys have picked a fight with a gal by the name of Magik, A.K.A Darkchilde, A.K.A Illyana Rasputin. A.K.A Queen of Limbo. She's an X-Man. Hero. Rescuer of wayward children. Lover of Cats. Defender of the weak. Teacher to the young. And... part time Hell Lord; I guess we all have hobbies. This is Limbo, her realm, which is an entirely magical dimension which she rules. A place between places that ended up becoming a place over the eons. A... Hell to some... well... ok everybody. I find it a bit dry myself, prefer a moist heat. Oh, and she's a Mutant as well"._

Mephisto broke the bad news with a look of uncle'ish concern, like they had just broken Mom's favorite vase. He leaned close and put his arms around both of their shoulders.

 

_"Boys... you've managed to pick a fight with one of the few entities that can actually end a Ghost Rider if they're sufficiently motivated and you're in the heart of their power; which, by the way, you are. And you've kind of motivated her; by... you know... driving her mad"._

Mephisto leaned back and laughed. _"Think Godzilla on the rag and you might be close to understanding just how badly you've shoved your dicks in the blender"._

 

The last of the song played while Johnny and Robbie contemplated Mephisto words.

 

...

_So if you meet me_

_Have some courtesy_

_Have some sympathy, and some taste_

_(Woo woo)_

_Use all your well-learned politesse_

_Or I'll lay your soul to waste, mm yeah_

_(Woo woo, woo woo)_

...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why add Mephisto to the story? Well... I in part decided to kick it up a few notches. In the graphic novel/limited series X-Infernus we see a counsel of Hell Lords and all of them are impressed by what they see of Illyana (who was slaughtering her way across Limbo in search of her blood stones and soul sword), all but Mephisto that is; who I think was playing his cards close to his vest.
> 
> Mephisto likes to play the long game so I suspect he might have a reason for being here other then just amusement (although Johnny and Robbie are in quite the predicament).

**Part 4: Mexico (part 2, or what came before)**

 

The day was warm, the Tecates were cold, and the waitress was hot (Carmelita was her name). The day was looking good and the night held major potential as Johnny had already gotten her phone number and the promise to bring a friend for Robbie. A night of partying beckoned once she was off shift, just under two hours away.

 

Johnny and Robbie were hanging out at the plaza just chilling and drinking at an outdoor table. It was early afternoon and they had been drinking for the last three hours, plus some chips, salsa, and those little tacos they make in Mexico.

 

A minor argument had broken out over the proper hotness of salsa. Robbie liked it to be car paint peeling grade while Johnny preferred that his intestinal lining remain intact, un blistered, and still attached. This had resulted in two bowls of salsa and Robbie periodically calling Johnny a wussy. Finally Johnny gave in and had several mouthfuls of what Robbie considered hot salsa which resulted in Johnny surrendering to the wussy claim (and no, beer... does not help but milk or bananas do). Robbie was el hombre on that little challenge and was feeling proud of himself.

 

They were both mildly put off on finding the growing anti mutant protest, mostly because some of the speakers like to shout and frankly Johnny didn't really understand anything they were saying (his Spanish sucked big time).

 

It didn't help that Robbie kept deliberately giving Johnny incorrect phrases in Spanish. _My you look divine (Mi miras divina)_ had been translated by Robbie into _My you look bovine_ _(Mi nos fijamos bovina)._ No, the girls did not find it a complement when Johnny said it to them.

 

Johnny was rather ambivalent on the whole Mutant question thing. Robbie was definitely anti Mutant, felt that they couldn't be trusted. Which was oddly ironic coming from a dead man who had been turned into a Ghost Rider and liked to kill criminals to appease the lust for bloodshed. Let's just say Robbie was not the valedictorian in his high school and leave it at that (plus his major TV viewing was the NASCAR Channel, MTV, and BBC America Top Gear).

 

Carmelita had let Johnny know what he was really saying when Robbie finally went to the Cuarto de hombres to drain the lizard, which was how Robbie described relieving his bladder (Johnny had already been there four times).

 

 _"Cow. You're calling them cows"._ Was her humorous comment as she bent over to put some empty bottles on her tray and flash Johnny the goodies.

 

 _"What"?_ Stated Johnny. Startled by both the idea that he was insulting the hotties and by her generous display of cleavage.

 

" _Bovina means cow"._ Was her reply as she stood back up.

_"Well... shit. That little bastard"._ Johnny stated with an irritated grin. " _That explains the cold shoulders and looks of irritation"._

_"It was very funny"._ Laughed Carmelita as she continued to flirt with Johnny.

 

_"So why are you telling me now"?_

 

_"Because I don't want you saying it to me tonight when you take me dancing after I get off shift which is in just under two hours"._

 

_"Umm... Ok. Deal"!_

 

Johnny could sometimes be a bit slow, but he properly assessed this situation. Carmelita was very nice on the eyes and she spoke English so double plus! And those double DDs made it a triple play. Now here's hoping tonight was a home run, or two or three or...

 

 _"Do you have friend you can invite along for my little brother? Keeping in mind that he really is little"._ Johnny held up his thumb and index finger showing a size of roughly three inches, like he was implying something about Robbie.

 

 _"I hope that doesn't run in the family"._ Carmelita giggled.

 

_"Nope, need two hands handle that beast"._

At that point Robbie returned from the little Ghost Rider's room.

 

Carmelita left with another giggle and an order for two more beers, after first giving Johnny her phone number.

 

 _"What's so funny?"_ asked Robbie as he sat back down.

 

 _"Nutten"._ Johnny answered. _"Just some talk about cows"._

_"Phoo, she ratted me out didn't she"?_

_"She knows where the tip is coming from"._ Answered Johnny, getting in a double meaning without Robbie being any the wiser. _"So uncool Robbie, so uncool. And here I thought you had my back, some wingman you are"._

_"Payback for all those times you harassed me about how I bowl. Always pointing out in the sixth frame that I tend to waddle"._

_"Makes you self conscious and throws off your game"._ Answered Johnny. _"Hey, money was at stake and you bowl way better then me; plus you refuse to learn how to play golf"._

_"Golf is for pussies"._

_"Go tell that to Tiger. And I'd point out all the NASCAR teams play, plus Formula 1, 2 and 3 and even the motorcycle circuit. It's something the sponsors like doing. Best learn the game Bro', you don't have to be great at it as the car sponser's tend to like winning but you need to know how to play'"._

_"Ok, you have a point there. Man is he rolling in it"._

Enough fooling around for a few minutes. Johnny quickly outlined the plans for the night, high end nightclub and fancy hotel. As he was laying out his plans something started to itch as it were. Something was off. Something was... That couple who just walked by, they... shimmered and it was like... like he felt a powerful magnet pull that just so radiated evil.

 

Johnny squinted a bit and focused on the departing couple, the blonde woman and the dark skinned Zorro like dude. Being a Ghost Rider did come with various benefits (like never having heart burn for one). A nice benefit was the ability to penetrate most cloaking spells if he focused hard enough.

 

 _"Shit Robbie"_ Johnny whispered. _"Two demons just walked past us"._ Johnny pointed at the backs of the cloaked Illyana and Kurt. He put his hand on Robbie's shoulder which gave Robbie the wattage to also penetrate the spell.

 

_"Shit Bro'. A blue devil and a scantily clad demon babe I guess. Dude has a sword. And I like her black short shorts. And... man what is that feeling of evil"?_

_"Really powerful bad asses. Must be here to start trouble. Let me show you how it's done little brother"._

Robbie was tired of being called little. _"Dude, rather tired of the little brother bullshit. Especially since we both know I'm bigger then you"._

_"Are not"._

_"Am to"._

_"Look, do we both need to whip it out and measure it with a ruler"?_ Johnny asked.

_"I'll need a yard stick not a ruler"._ Robbie rebutted.

Johnny laughed _"Now that's a good comeback. Come on. Time for our daily good deed, let's go punish some demons"._

Johnny and Robbie got up. Johnny tossed down some bills, and a really big tip, and then went off in pursuit of a little trouble. I mean... how hard could this be?

 

Two demons vs. A Ghost Rider and his little brother?

 

Should be no contest at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yea they were a bit drunk, no excuse though. I find that many hero vs. hero stories has one or both sides being completely stupid and or ignoring all past experiences with the friend(s) they are now fighting. But I do think it would be in character for Johnny to hit first and ask questions second if he was attacking demons because... well demons after all.

**Part 5a: Another fine mess that you've gotten me into (part 3a)**

 

 _"I like Godzilla films"!_ Robbie yelled in response; he wasn't fully concentrating on the conversation as he was too busy retaining control of the car over the blasted road of bones.

Robbie was also a big fan of films with naked breasts as well. Now if Hollywood would just combine Godzilla and female cleavage they'd have an Oscar grade winner, at least Robbie thought so.

Mephisto raised an eyebrow and gave Johnny a sarcastic look. Johnny yelled a response at Robbie.

 

_"If she's Godzilla, then I think he's saying we're Tokyo"!_

Robbie disagreed with the basic premise of the example. _"But Godzilla is the good guy! That would make us the villains"!_

Mephisto gave forth a chuckle of pure evil and delight. _"I hate to break it to ya, well... no I don't actually, but you are the villains in this little farce of a passion play. Ready! Shoot! Aim! That's my boys! Love ya Johnny, love ya!. But here's a friendly suggestion, you might want to put more of an effort into ascertaining the true situation before you start shooting at things"._

_"They were demons!"_ Shouts Johnny.

 

_"Wrongo yet again Johnny boy. O for three now! Robbie my young lad, I recommend that you seek... multiple second opinions on any investment advice from Johnny. Yes she's a demon Johnny, but a reformed one. As I said, one of the good guys; even has a soul and everything"._

_"Bullshit! What about that blue devil"?!_ Shouted Johnny. _"He reeked of evil"!_

_"That would be a Mr. Kurt Wagner, devote Catholic and occasional priest, and not one of those choir boy loving ones I might add; he's the real deal. Fellow X-Men, defender of the Earth and sworn to defend a world that hates and fears him. Really nice guy, give you the shirt off his back, and loves a good brewskie. Actually died a while back but returned from Heaven itself so as to resume the good fight. Rather embodies that quote (for the workers are few but the need is vast). He's a Mutant as well"._

Mephisto continued. _"The evil you sensed was spillover from her aura. Since she is a demon, and a Hell Lord, her aura is very stained and strong. That just helped you see what you expected to see as they were doing what? Just walking around. Ha such fiends! How dare they walk about where good folks are getting intoxicated and attempting to fornicate with the waitress "._

Johnny responded with disbelief. _"How can she be good if she gives off that level of evil"?!_

_"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. That sounds like the pan dissing the pot. Where does that leave the two of you then? Robbie here stinks of evil due to that merging with the soul of his dead serial killing Uncle; and his new propensity to kill people. And you dear Johnny reek to the heavens themselves when in Ghost Rider form"._

Johnny and Robbie exchanged glances. Johnny gave voice to their shared disbelief.

 

_"I call Bullshit! How on earth is a Hell Lord one of the good guys"?!_

 

Mephisto grinned. _"Let me tell you about that fine looker of a blender that you've stuck your metaphysical dicks in. Oh, who have we here"?_

 

Mephisto reached down and retrieved, with his left hand, the skull that had been rattling about in the foot well by his feet.

 

Mephisto held up the skull. _"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well"._

Johnny just gave Mephisto a blank stare. Robbie expressed his lack of understanding as well. " _Who's Yorick"?!_ was their common question.

Mephisto now had a disgusted expression of disappointment and irritation. _"Have neither of you two read or seen Shakespeare? The Bard? Greatest playwright ever? Hamlet"?_

Johnny and Robbie again exchanged glances. Johnny summed up their English literature experiences. _"Um... no"?!_

Mephisto hated an unappreciative audience. _"Philistines. I guess Hee Haw was on during your years in High School"._

More blank looks from the both of them.

 

Mephisto closed his eyes and rubbed his brow in annoyance. Then he opened them. He placed his left hand in the base of the skull so he could operate it like a kind of hand puppet. He began to tell a version of the tale of Illyana, suitable edified for his target audience's I.Q. (He didn't want to use any big words that might confuse them).

 

He started by sarcastically singing a variation of a theme song. Every other line was sung by the skull by Mephisto throwing his voice.

 

_Just sit right back_

_And you'll hear a tale_

_A tale of a fateful trip,_

_That started from this hellish point_

_And the girl who sank Belasco's ship._

_The girl was a young lass, of but six years old_

_The Demon cruel and vile_

_Five X-men lost during her stay_

_Of a seven year travail,_

_A seven year travail._

_Her brother was the first to die_

_He died to save his love_

_The Wolverine was the second lost_

_As he strove to save his stormy love_

_While the flesh was burned from his bones by lightning from above_

_The Kitty was transformed into Cat_

_The blue one undone and his soul turned to scat_

_With Illyana,_

_Ororo too._

_The Wolverine_

_And the Cat,_

_With Nightcrawler,_

_Colossus_

_Here on Illyana's Isle._

Robbie yelled a complaint. _""Why the hell are you singing to the rhyme of Gilligan's island theme song?! I hated those gringo idiotas masivas when I was a kid"!_

Which was not quite true. Robbie, like most young men, had had a crush on Mary-Ann, As did 80% of the male viewers. 17% went for Ginger, 2% went for Mrs. Howell (likely looking to be a rich woman's boy toy) and the last 1% went for the Skipper and Gilligan. Which, if you think about it, the Skipper always calling Gilligan his little buddy was just... odd).

 

Johnny shouted a sarcastic reply. _"I believe he thinks we're a bunch of illiterate douche bags Robbie! Incapable of understanding or comprehending the subtlety of his nuanced narrative! Next will likely be a pearls before swine biblical quote"!_

Mephisto stop singing and replied. _"Ok, just testing to make sure that you have mental abilities beyond punching, driving, drinking, eating, belching, farting, giggling at breasts, and fornicating. Needed to see if I was going to have to do a remedial summary but I see that the both of you are able to comprehend words with more then two or three syllables"._

Johnny was less then polite. _"Yea, well F you right back Mephisto, now spill what you know about her"._

Mephisto smiled and the skull began to speak.

 

**Part 5b: Illyana's Isle (part 1)**

_It began with a circle of light. A beguiling trick that led a precocious six year old girl into hell. Her and the X-Men who attempted to save her, for she was the sister of one of them. That child escaped the hell but the X-Men were trapped._

_Time works a bit funny here boys, future, past, alternatives, all are jumbled up in a rat's nest of interdependencies. Belasco, he was the vile demon sorcerer villain in this tale of woe, was trapped here in Limbo by his senile degenerate masters, known as the Elder Gods, because of his failures on freeing them from their prison._

_The Elder Gods had long since been banished and imprisoned in a pocket dimension. That happened back when... well... no need to go into details about that little episode, but suffice it to say the neighborhood really improved after their departure. Think inbred white trash on steroids living in the Mother of all Trailers, kind of like how you used to live Johnny._

_Belasco was trying to free them and that sweet little child Illyana was to be his tool to liberate his dread masters. Well... the first Illyana escaped, but as I said time is funny in Limbo. He repeated the little ritual many decades later, and this time the X-Men escaped but Illyana was trapped. Trapped in Hell with Belasco, his crew, and what was left of the original X-Men._

_Crafting such a tool is a one time operation once you begin, no repeats. Takes years and years and the outcome is always uncertain. First he summoned a blood stone from the soul of the child, one fifth of her soul corrupted and supposedly dedicated to evil. But then, the child was rescued by an aged version of Ororo, a black female storm goddess, former X-Men and now freed apprentice of Belasco._

_Well... supposedly rescued. All part of Belasco's plans; really the best plan he ever crafted, he tended to always rush things but for once he was sublime in his planning. Belasco had amused himself with the trapped X-Men after the first Illyana escaped. Ahhh, such heroes. It amused him to corrupt and degraded them over time. Those who would not serve died. Some who serviced served without even knowing._

_Well Ororo was one fine lady. Mutant control of weather and a looker. But over the years her body aged and she was unable to fully exercise her powers. So she ended up apprenticing herself to Belasco in an attempt to learn magic. Why you ask? Well she'd been here for many years and was a bit nuts at that point. Plus her dear Kitty, Katherine Pryde, had been transformed by Belasco into a Cat woman and she sought the ability to free her foster child as it were._

_She became a powerful sorceress and tried to overthrow Belasco, like he didn't see that one coming. She slays Belasco, but it was all part of his plot. In reality she loses her soul and binds herself to Belasco as his slave. Ahhh, such sweet tragedy. Does that remind you of something Johnny boy? Well years and years later, after Belasco had such... fun with her, the wench actually ends up freeing herself from her bondage and regains her soul. That was not planned by Belasco, oh was he enraged. But, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade._

_Who better to teach the young Illyana life magic then his escaped apprentice? It was so well done. A year spent with the Elderly Ororo learning magic. But then... sweet Illyana is taken by Cat. Ororo's sometimes lover and a fierce warrior. Turns out Cat felt that Illyana needed to be toughed up, learn to be strong so she could fight the evil within her. So... Illyana and Cat spend two years in the wilderness as Cat trains her in the deadly arts. Did a really good job I might add, girl can be downright nasty. Illyana hated it, a life of abuse and training. Hated every day as she slowly was overcome by Helsinki syndrome. That's a physiological term boys, for situations where the hostage ends up bonding with the hostage taker. Well Cat turns Illyana into quite the competent little killer. Cat and Kit as it were, and by the end Illyana so loved her Cat._

_Now Cat, she was a mutant as well, all the X-Men where. She takes Illyana to Belasco's castle in an attempt to return Illyana to her home dimension. Big reveal! It was all a plot by Belasco to have Cat and Ororo train Illyana! Much hilarity ensues. Cat attacks Belasco only to be transformed into Cat in form as well as name and made into his servant and plaything. A replacement for the now slain Kurt who had been Belasco's servant up to that point. Cat had killed her former friend Kurt in the attempt to return Illyana when they ventured into the castle and were attacked by him._

_Yea, good o'll Kurt had been left for dead by the original X-Men and Belasco had nursed the poor boy back to health and had corrupted him. Taught him the pleasures of evil. He resisted, they all did, but he had fallen in the end, just as they all did. Belasco may have been a boor and rather too interested in young girls in that icky kind of way, but the man could be one hell of a fine corrupter when he set his mind to it._

_So now Illyana voluntarily summons a blood stone herself, like I said Belasco could really corrupt well, and becomes Belasco's appetence and... well let's just call it an involuntary bed warmer and leave it at that, as I said the man could be icky like that._

_For three years she learns from him. Learns all kinds of... things. Resisting all the while but poor dear is on a greased slide and just heading down. Get's to watch Cat, her best friend and surrogate big sister, abused in all kinds of interesting ways when Belasco wasn't abusing her that is. Belasco so loved to... play with his toys._

_Then she finally rebels, try's to free herself, finds out that she's also a mutant and can control those little teleportation disks that so frequent Limbo. Right at the same time Ororo tries to free her and Cat. That doesn't go well._

_Cat cuts down Ororo and Illyana ends up having to kill Cat in a fight to the death. Oh that was well done, nothing like being forced to kill that which you love the most to drive home the shear helplessness of her situation. So... she kills Cat, but then kills Ororo, who was dying, before Belasco can sacrifice her to the Elder Gods. Another thing he didn't see that coming. Oh, and she was all of twelve years old._

_Belasco was so pissed that Ororo does not die the way he wanted. Ends up torturing Illyana for a while before soul raping her and creating the third Blood Stone. Then he banishes her into a frozen hell while binding her mutant ability. Girl is left with no food, water, heat, heck not really anything at all. But unable to die. Left in that frozen hell for a year._

_Only her magic's sustained her, that and the life essence of this really freaking big tree that Ororo had created when she'd freed herself from Belasco. She wasn't really human anymore when she finally escaped it. All that magic did things to her body that could not be undone. Well... we all do things to survive... don't we Johnny boy?_

_For a year she tries to walk Ororo's path. Tries and fails. Oak finally dies, it would have died anyway but it died much faster with her feeding on its life force (which it totally offered by the way, the only truly noble thing in Limbo). She totally loses it, goes mad._

_Turns out the Elder Gods really really liked her, way more then Belasco thought. She does her master spell, the one that kept failing, and find a new metaphor for her freedom, one that was... different then Ororo's. That little sword of her's Johnny, the one that cut off your chain? Let's just say her metaphor for freedom was rather less symbolic and more... violent. Real big surprise that sword. Nobody but the Elder Gods saw that coming. With that sword all of her bindings failed as that sword can cut through anything; as you can attest to Johnny._

_She hunts down Belasco, and basically kills or destroys anything in her way. Girl was vindictively pissed! Girrrrl power! Victim no more! It ends in the ussual big climatic fight scene where she's disarmed Belasco and is about to chop him into nice bite sized pieces. At this point she's all demonic, red skin, tail, horns, and glowing eyes and he's lost all of his demon attributes; just a man again. Wow did the Elder Gods love her, ahh such a creation. But then she resists! Realizes that killing Belasco is the Fall as it were. It's all been a setup to make her take that last step. Cut the chase she resists and the Elder Gods are pissed ,but she's still their favorite. Belasco escapes and she returns home only to find that mere moments have passed on Earth._

**Part 5a: Another fine mess that you've gotten me into (part 3b)**

Robbie interrupted. _"That big T-Rex like thing is gaining on us"!_ They had been driving up an incline for quite some time.

Mephisto turned around and look behind. _"My my. An actual demonic Lampreysoruss. Haven't seen any of those for a long long while. Takes really big prey to keep one of those critters fed. And female at that"._

 

Mephisto looks around the car, taking in the lack of the roof and the rear window. Then grins and makes a completely crude statement.

 

_"And she's a swallower"!_

_"Guess you boy's went way beyond tonsils deep. Suck and swallow. Now that's what I call quality fellatio, mind the teeth though"._

_"Shutup Mephisto"!_ Johnny shouted. " _Um... how can you tell it's a she_ "?!

 

Mephisto just smiled.

 

Johnny sighed and ate some crow. _"Please speak Mephisto"!_

 

_"It's the color Johnny. She's grey and brown, the males have streaks of pink, violet, and blue, rather dandy looking. Oh, and boy's are about fifty percent larger"._

 

Robbie was getting very nervous. The road was a bit slick (shinny bones) and he is unable to drive any faster. _"Guys do something"!_

The car speaker's awoke again with song. It was AC/DC Highway to hell.

 

_..._

_I'm on the highway to hell_

_On the highway to hell_

_Highway to hell_

_I'm on the highway to hell_

_No stop signs, speed limit_

_Nobody's gonna slow me down_

_Like a wheel, gonna spin it_

_Nobody's gonna mess me around_

_..._

_"Fresh out of ideas Robbie"!_ Shouted Johnny. _"Hellfire doesn't bother it and we don't have any conventional ordinance! Care to take a stab at it Mephisto and for crying out loud, stop play with the stereo_ "!

_"That's not my doing, not now and not before. And na... don't like doing freebies. Doesn't really mater anyway"._

**_"Why"?_** Screamed Johnny has he cocked the shotgun. The Beast had just put on a burst of speed and was closing fast. The riders were about a thousand feet behind the Lampreysoruss. Rather unnerving to see something so big move so damn fast.

 

 _"She can't fly"._ Mephisto stated mater-of-factly.

_"How on earth does that matter.... **SHIT! BRAKE! BRAKE ROBBIE! BRAKE....** **AHHHHHHHHHHHH** "!_

Both Johnny and Robbie screamed their lungs out as the car drove right over a cliff.

 

They had just crested the top of the incline and the road had abruptly ended with a shear cliff and, despite Robbie's attempt to break, the car had gone right off the edge (Just like the ending in the film Thelma & Louise). Those slick bones had just caused the car to slide.

 

Mephisto screamed too, but in delight. More of a **_"Weeeeeeeee"!_ ** As the car plummeted.

 

Then he stood up, turned to face the rear (somehow he was still attached to the car floor) grabbed his crotch with his left hand, raised a one finger salute with his right hand, started thrusting his hips back and forth with sticking out his tongue (yea, he was taunting the pursuers).

 

Robbie screamed a question and a complaint. **_"Lo que la cogida"?!_**

 

The ground was far far far below. Above them the Lampreysoruss stopped at the cliff edge, looked down, and snorted in disgust at both the loss of her prey and being dissed by Mephisto. The remaining Velociraptors and their riders simply leaped into space when they came to the cliff.

 

The song continued to play.

 

_..._

_And I'm going down_

_All the way_

_Whoa!_

_I'm on the highway to hell_

_..._

There was one good thing about the screaming plummet. Johnny finally got some bladder relief (ya he pissed himself). So did Robbie but his bladder was rather empty so only a small stain verse Johnny's drenching.

 

Later, neither Robbie or Mephisto ever let Johnny forget it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter. In Extraordinary X-Men 8, page 1 we see that Kurt is defending Mutants while being in the middle of what appears to be a riot. Just what caused that? Well... this is my take.
> 
> And... just what did Johnny's hellfire do to Illyana? Yea, I'm being a bit of tease on that. Next few chapters will show all. Here's a hint... Uncanny X-men, Issue 5, pages nine and ten. When Dormammu tries to end Illyana.

**Part 6: Mexico (part 3, or what came before)**

 

There is an ancient room beneath the Mexico City Square. The room is part of an ancient labyrinth left over from Aztec times. It is called the Room of the Red Dawn.

 

The floor, walls, and ceilings are blood red and the room is decorated with Aztec motifs carved into the stone, mostly of Quetzalcoatl (the feathered serpent, i.e. a snake with bird wings). The red was not from paint, and the rock was not red. It was just that... well only blood red light is reflected by the stone, and it... glistens like it was still slightly damp.

 

Creepy would not begin to describe the feeling you get when you were in that room.

 

This was where Aztec human sacrifices had been kept before their dawn date with a obsidian knife at the top of a pyramid. The room was shielded with ancient and still potent magic (which was why Magik was unable to locate the mutants that she and Kurt were searching for).

 

There were three mutants in the room. A rather green turtle'ish looking bald young man (no he didn't have a shell, he was dressed in black pants and white dress shirt). A spiky white scaled young woman with black hair, and a flaming person of uncertain gender.

 

The room only had one exit, which had iron bars sealing it, and it was guarded by several AK-47 armed guards (several AK-47s were pointed at the prisoners, they had been told not to approached the bars).

 

In the center of the room there was a technical device of some sort, power cables ran from the device and out the room via the bars. It was humming.

 

Further down the corridor was a second room, this was setup as a kind of temporary control room. Tables, computers with monitors, several big screens on stands, and various people with headsets talking in calm subdued voices. This as the real command center for the demonstration above.

 

The screens had various shots of the crowd and the speakers. Scattered bits of Spanish conversation could be heard.

 

_...Crowd is estimated at fifteen thousand..._

 

_...We're live on Televisa and Univision in the States..._

_...Increasing sub harmonics by three Db..._

The current speaker's words blared from a speaker. _"Demons! They're all demons! Sent to pull us down into the pit of hell itself with of their iniquities..."_

 

_...Stand by... Gran Hombre is up next... Device is charged and online..._

One of the big scream monitors zooms in on a commotion.

 

_...Shit. We have a problem! Two people on fire! And..._

_...Who the Fuck are they? Are those ours? We have two... demons who just set two people on fire!..._

_...Negative! The examples are still in the Room of the Red Dawn..._

_...Sir the guards are reporting that the walls of the Red Room have started to bleed!_

_...Gran Hombre says GO! It's a go! Do it now!_

_...Activating teleport..._

A blinding light erupts from one of the big screens. The image had been zoomed in on the two burning people.

_...The burning girl, she's..._

_...Crap, looks like some kind of metal fire? Magnesium or aluminum? Shit that's bright..._

_..Security is moving in..._

_...The Examples have arrived..._

_...SHIT!_

_...OH SHIT!_

****

**_...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!_ **

_...Evacuate! Get Gran Hombre out of here NOW!..._

_...All units pull out! Repeat! Pull out **NOW!**..._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One reason I'm having Mephisto give a summary of Illyana is for the Ghost Rider fans who are not Illyana/X-Men fans, plus Johnny did ask. This is a long chapter as I decided I wanted to get done with the retelling of Illyana's life.
> 
> I figure that Mephisto is always giving Johnny a hard time. Again minor apologies for any crudeness.

**Part 7a: Another fine mess that you've gotten me into (part 4)**

The car was plummeting nose down. Robbie was tightly grasping the steering wheel while Johnny was sitting down and holding onto the top of the windshield (remember that the roof is gone). Mephisto was again sitting in the back seat with his arms up, still yelling Weeeeeee, like he was on a roller coaster or something.

 

Turns out you can scream in terror for only so long when nothing actually happens; which meant that Robbie and Johnny screamed for about two minutes straight before it occurred to them that they had not yet impacted the ground. In fact the ground didn't look any closer.

 

 _"Just how high up are we"?!_ Robbie shouted.

 

Mephisto stopped shouting Weeee and waving his arms about. _"Rough guess is a hundred miles or more. We're going to be falling for a long time boys. I see we've reached... terminal velocity (get it boys, terminal velocity. Terminal... get it... Hmm I see somebody left their sense of humor on earth). Now where was I on my little story"?_

Robbie finally noticed Johnny's little accident. _"Dude! You pissed in the car! Shit! You even got it on me. Damn it Johnny"!_

Johnny decided that the less said the better. _"Sorry Robbie"!_

****

**_"DUDE"!_ **

_"I said I'm sorry"!_

_"Dude"!_

_"The car's made of hellfire Robbie! It's not like it's going to stain or rust"!_

_"Dude"!_

_"We'll talk about it later Robbie"!_

**_"DUDE"!_ **

**_"I said we'll talk about it later"!_ **

_"Dude"!_

_"Later"!_

_"Dude"!_

_"Later"!_

_"Dude"!_

_"Later"!_

_"Dude"!_

Mephisto chuckled and interrupted. _"You boys should think about joining a debate society. My my such riveting dialog, such insightful observations. Such repertoire. Ahh if only Shakespeare could have immortalized this"._

Johnny and Robbie stopped arguing and glaring at each other. Robbie tried turning the steering wheel to see if the car would change direction (which it didn't).

 

Johnny yelled. _"Before you go on Mephisto I want to ask some questions"!_

_"Ask away Jonny, I may even answer if it conforms to our little deal"._

_"Why does she look... Dormmanu'ish"?!_

_"Meaning the flames that surrounded her head"?_ Asked Mephisto.

 

_"Yea! Looked like she was a female version of Dormmanu. All spiky black garbed with goat hooves and that burning head with horns and flaming hair. Is she one of his or related to him"?!_

 

_"No Johnny. She's not one of his. That's getting ahead of the story a bit, but no bother. Her Darkchilde form is... fluid as it were and subject to variations depending on her state of mind. That aspect got created when Dormmanu tried to take over Limbo. He was so vain about the Flames of Regency thing that surrounded his head. Well... he tried kill her and it rather backfired on him"._

_"How did it backfire"?!_

Mephisto have a half grin _. "Johnny, you've had dealing with Dormmanu before. Why not give me and your brother a brief summary"?_

Johnny glared at Mephisto but complied. At least Robbie was not going on about the pee any more.

 

" _Dormmanu's a Hell Lord Robbie, rather like our unwanted passenger! A sadistic complete asshole with not a speck of redeeming attributes! Rules a place called the Dark Dimension! He also has a bitch of a sister by the name of Umar! Think Donnie and Marie Osmond from hell and you have a taste of what they're like! He's way stronger then us but his arrogance can be used against him. You really don't want to mess with him"!_

_"Good Johnny, good"._ Purred Mephisto. " _Dormmanu was a Hell Lord, one of the strongest, not as potent as I but he was still vast in his power"._

Johnny finally picked on the past tense references. _"Was"!?_

_"Was"_ Purred Mephisto with a trace of smoke from his nostrils. " _She killed him after he tried to kill her, girl just so... get's it done. As I said boys, dicks in a blender. Now back to my story..."_

**Part 7b: Illyana's Isle (part 2)**

_Now young Illyana's back in her own world, but just moments have passed for the X-Men. My my, were they surprised and dismayed to pull a thirteen year old girl from the gateway to Limbo. A girl who, by the way, would not or could not answer questions as to what had happened to her. Very suspicious. Was she a corrupted tool of Belasco's? How had she survived? Was she still even... human? The medical sensors said she was but who truly trusts such things? After all Johnny, what would a Doctor say about you?_

_Needless to say her brother was devastated. So much for taking care of his little snowflake._

_Well...they keep her close and under observation at that School that Xavier runs. Even have their own fourteen year old girl, the young Kitty, become her roommate (which was totally a ploy of Xavier's to keep an eye on her). But it worked out fantastically as the two of them quickly became the best of friends (almost like Illyana know just how Kitty would react to so many things)._

_And... surprise surprise Xavier, old baldy sourpuss himself, is unable to read her mind (which he totally could before she went to Limbo). And such a mind shield, like nothing he's seen before. She lives there but does no magic, no weapons training, no torturing animals, nothing. Little miss perfect. Or... is she?_

_Well this goes on for about a year. Kitty teaching Illyana how to be a girl in the twentieth century America. Shopping, pizza, talking (giggle giggle) about boys, teenage music choices, and just how to be bitchy and snide towards the New Mutants (that was the code name for the young students at the school who started showing up after Illyana returned)._

_Girl mostly keeps to herself, really only associates with Kitty and the X-Men, keeps her distance from the New Mutants; although she hits it off very well with Kitty's pet dragon Lockheed. Tries to fit in but ever once in a while accidently drops a clue about her experiences in hell._

_Then... history come calling by the name of S'ym._

_S'ym had been Belasco's chief enforcer demon in Limbo. He'd killed Illyana's brother (the one that died in Limbo). Plus, when Illyana had been bad, Belasco had given her to S'ym to punish (being bad being a relative term in this case). Girl was conditioned to be terrified of him with very good reasons. When she had taken on Belasco she had eviscerated S'ym with that sword of hers (which totally surprised S'ym and Belasco as S'ym was rather indestructible, kind of like you Johnny boy right up to your own little sword encounter)._

_S'ym had been sent by Belasco to retrieve Illyana, but in reality was here to be killed by Illyana (something that poor old S'ym didn't know). Belasco was trying to nudge her back into the game per directions from his masters; and not being a complete moron, Belasco sent a patsy to take the fall._

_Kid goes into shock. Remembers everything she's been trying to forget or ignore. Panics as she remembers all the things that S'ym had done to her in the past. She's unconscious but the New Mutant's attack and get their asses handed to them by S'ym (after all S'ym had taken on the X-Men and won). All of them are knocked out and S'ym is about to slay then when Illyana awakens._

_Awakens in so many ways..._

_Mystic powers once again flow through her. She battles S'ym and he overcomes her magic's right up to the time when she summons her sword and is ready to utterly slay him (she had tricked him, allowing her to get in close). He pleads for mercy and then... the girl again goes off script! Takes S'ym's oath of allegiance and then sends him back to Limbo. She makes up a story about how her mutant ability manifested (the ability to control the teleportation circles). And she casts a spell to modify the memories of those who remembered it differently._

_Ahh so quick with hiding herself. Girl had such issues with... what she was and what she'd done to survive in Limbo and... and so very much. Call it survivor's guilt if you want to give it a name._

_Some time later her friend Kitty ends to taking a trip to a rival mutant school, no need for details, and Illyana decided to austral walk to see what was up with her roomie. Well turns out she's being held captive by a gal called the White Queen, Emma Frost by name, who is a member of this little group called the Hellfire Club (No affiliation by the way, I once contemplated suing for trademark infringement but ended up letting it be as they so worked my will in so many ways. That and man the parties they threw, like wow)._

_Turns out the White Queen could somehow see Illyana's austral form and she fired a telepathic blast, Emma's one heck of a telepath and tends to ignore the rules that Xavier pretended that he played by. Well Illyana is all disrupted and her inner Ids get lose. They run amuck and rather terrorize the New Mutants, Illyana finally gets control of herself but by then it's firmly entrenched in most of their minds that she's a bad person._

_The X-Men are out of town on a little Beyonder bender of a kegger so the kids end up taking a bus of all things to go rescue Kitty. That ends badly and only Illyana and this Indian chick, by the name of Dani, end up escaping to Limbo where, big reveal, she's now shown to be the Magus of the whole damn place. That place being this place Johnny._

_Dani is all freaked out, with cause I might add, but is willing to work with Illyana despite her terror; that really meant a lot to Illyana. Over time Dani became a real friend to Illyana._

_Well they return from Limbo, rescue the kidlings and escape to the X-Men school. Then a few weeks later this massive demon bear attacks, rather brutalizes Dani, and all the New Mutant bratlings learn just how ruthless and deadly dear Yana could be. Short summary, Bear's dead and one of the team members tried to kill Illyana when he mistakenly thought that Illyana had joined the bear's side._

_Tsk tsk, Johnny don't you find it to be so annoying to always be mistrusted even when trying to do good? I'm sure you can relate._

_Anyhow, several years go by involving various adventures and misadventures, and schoolwork. Good times and bad. And by bad let's just say some really bad things happen to Illyana. But the big problem is that she just won't deal with what happened to her in Limbo. Won't tell anybody, won't seek help. Won't talk about it. Ignores what she is and what that means._

_She so loved her brother and was so scared of rejection. So easy to build walls to hide behind._

_She got so much rejection from just any glimpse of what she was, how on earth was she going to explain to her best friend that she'd snapped the neck of an older version of Kitty in a fight to the death. Snapped it and part of her had loved doing it and would do it again. Not to mention killing Ororo, or being a demon sorceress, and doing a whole bunch of very bad things._

_Now it's not all one sided. Folks had reasons to be concerned about her. One fun filled escapade had her imprisoned and her darker aspect enslaved and given form. Oh what fun she had as her darker self slaughter its way across Asgard in search of the X-Kidlets. Laugh a minute I tell you. I must have eaten three bowls of popcorn watching that._

_Well some really heavy shit goes down, involving one of my franchise operations, and Illyana's brother dies, or so she thinks, and her friend Kitty is badly injured in a prior little fiasco. And baldy sourpuss Xavier coerces her to reclaim her evil side when she got rather split in two, and forced her so called friends to make her do it (to be fair Xavier did use a telepathic back door to make them do it. Just another example of Xavier's do as I say and not as I do philosophy)._

_Well, the Kid slowly goes mad with depression and angst without having Kitty and her brother around to help her. Nobody to share her problems with, nobody that she trusts, and there was so much eating her up inside._

_Forever on the outside looking in. Wanting but never getting._

_In the end she's tricked into full demon form and the earth is invaded by the demons from Limbo as she loses control of Limbo. She comes up with a solution using that little time issue problem that Limbo has. She erases her existence, noble sacrifice for some, but blatant suicide to be honest. It's as if she never was and the Limbo demons are forced back into this little subdivision. She died in self loathing and despair and self hatred._

_The final straw was finding out that her brother lived. She couldn't face him. She so hated what she'd become._

_Only thing of her that survived was the soul sword. Nastily thing that sword, as you well know Johnny. The smarter one's leave that little toy alone, the dumber ones... well they get used by it. Only she can truly wield it with no consequences, as it is a part of her._

_Moral of the story is that sometimes we have to just embrace what we are. Don't we Johnny?_

_Well she was gone._

_Poof!_

_No more._

_Pushing up the daisies._

_So..._

_Dead._

_Until..._

_Well... there are worse thing then dying boys._

_Five years later..._

**Part 7c: Another fine mess that you've gotten me into (part 4)**

Johnny interrupted. _"Those Velociraptors like things with riders are getting closer"!_

Mephisto looked over his right shoulder. The pursuing Velociraptors had assumed a posture like they were diving and their riders were tucked in close, this resulted in a higher terminal velocity then the car. They were now only four hundred feet away.

 

Johnny raised his shotgun, pumped it to chamber a round, and fired off a blast of hellfire at one of the Velociraptors. The Velociraptor used its tail like a rudder to steer, plus it leaned sideways to increase its wind resistance, and dodged the blast.

 

Johnny cambered another round (you got to love guns that have an endless supply of ammo) when Robbie point to something below them.

 

_"What's that weird smudgy black cloud?! Looks like... birds"?!_

Johnny faced forward, he had better eyesight then Robbie, and looked at the black smudge. Behind them Mephisto grinned.

 

_"Looks like... shit, no way! Monkeys?! Are those flying monkeys?! What the Fuck?! Since when did this become the Wizard of Oz"?!_

Robbie remembered seeing the film on TV as a kid. He recalled that the monkeys had been rather small and had worn cute little uniforms. _"Monkeys... how lame is that"?!_

Mephisto observed. _"Baboons boys... not monkeys. Looks like flying demonic baboons to me"._

Johnny then made one of those statements that you just know is the wrong thing to say. _"Well shit, can't be worse then the Velociraptors"._

The stereo turned back on again and started to play Hit me with your best shot by Pat Benatar.

_Well you're the real tough cookie_

_With the long history_

_Of breaking little hearts_

_Like the one in me_

_That's OK,_

_Lets see how you do it_

_Put up your dukes,_

_Lets get down to it_

_Hit me with your best shot_

_Why don't you hit me_

_With your best shot_

_Hit me with your best shot_

_Fire Away_

_You come on with a "come on"_

_You don't fight fair_

_But that's OK, see if I care_

_Knock me down, it's all in vain_

_I'll get right back on my feet again._

_..._

_.._

**A SHORT TIME LATER...**

The Dodge Charger's front windshield has been shattered, like several bodies has smashed thought it. One windshield wiper still survived and was moving back and forth like it was attempting to clean a non existent piece of glass. Stuck on the end of the wiper is a small baboon head with glowing red eyes, disturbingly the eyes and mouth are still moving and trying to bite at anything that comes close.

 

The radiator grill of the car is smashed and has several baboons impaled upon it. The hood, and the rest of the car body work is dented and scratched. The car's interior is covered in black blood, entrails, and assorted baboon body parts. And so are Robbie and Johnny. Only Mephisto is still unstained for some unknown reason (sometimes it's good to be a hell lord).

 

Both Robbie and Johnny are standing and fighting with baboons that have landed on the car, and the ones that keep dive bombing them. Robby has ripped the steering wheel out and is currently busy using it as a kind of fly swatter. Johnny is busy swinging his shotgun like of club, and occasionally firing off a round.

 

One baboon is holding onto the rear bumper and occasionally raising his head over the trunk, only to duck back down again as Johnny fires yet another shot that misses. Then... the baboon fires a shot of its own with the only project at hand. Yea, it flings a hand full of poo and nails Johnny who screams in rage and fires through the trunk taking out the baboon.

 

Johnny screams. _"I take it back!!! I take it back! This fucking sucks! This is worse then the Velociraptors"!_

Robbie is less eloquent as he swats away yet another baboon. _**"FUCKING MONKEYS"!**_

****

No Robbie didn't really appreciate the difference between a monkey and a baboon. Ahh, another fine graduate of LA Unified.

_"Baboons boys, not monkeys"._ Chuckles Mephisto. " _Mind if I finish the story"?_

_'Sure!"_ screams Johnny as he fires the shotgun at a really big baboon that had just landed on the trunk, then he strikes a baboon that is clutched to his right leg, biting his butt, with the butt of the shotgun. _"It's not as if we're busy"!_

_"Just another Sunday drive"!_ Yells Robbie. Shit, now Robbie is in a tug-a-war with two baboons over the steering wheel.

_"Ok then, seeing that you're not too occupied..."._

 

Mephisto leans back, gets comfy, materializes a tall boy bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale (from the Stone Brewing company, super hoppy as Mephisto like his beers to be aggressive and bitter) and continues his tale.

**Part 7d: Illyana's Isle (part 3)**

_Belasco is back, in charge of Limbo again, and so wants his blonde bed warmer of a toy back. Man did he have unresolved issue involving her._

_Belasco was a bit nuts. He thought she still lived due to a little fiasco called M day, you remember the fallout from that don't you boys? Almost all the mutants lost their powers in that big no more mutants moment._

_Well... No need to go into the details as to why, but he summons her using a spell that shall work. But things get... dicey if the item in question does not exist. He's not trying to raise the dead, he is summoning here. The spell went off the rails and things got a bit... wobbly._

_Bottom line, a version of her is pulled from the very fabric of Limbo, with all of her memories, right up to the moment of her death, but no soul. And... there are some lingering issues of just what she was or is._

_Was she pulled from Limbo or was she a piece of Limbo given form? However you slice her, she was pure demon and so not in the form of the blonde toy that Belasco... craved._

_He was... upset. Very upset._

_He wanted his blonde boy toy and instead got a demonic bitch. He... expressed his displeasure upon her and then caste her out into the wilds of Limbo. Girl was a broken thing, in body and mind, by the time her was done with her. Almost no memories of who she had been and she was very... well crazy. Partially from the trauma of her suicide, but most from what he did to her as he expressed that displeasure I spoke of. Although calling it displeasure is kind of like calling World War II a series of border incidents._

_Afterwards Belasco decides that his blonde toy must be hidden on earth somewhere so first he pulls the current mutant students of that school Xavier founded into Limbo so he could question them, and also gets the X-Men whom his freezes in this green glowing energy sphere. He wanted to know where she was, who had hidden her, and he's not taking no for an answer._

_But half of the students are stolen away by Illyana without his knowing. While only one day had passed for Belasco since he had... well cast her out, years had pasted for her and she had recovered some bits of herself, healed her physical injuries, regained a portion of her power and was truly insane, evil, and demonic (Yea she was a teenager. That's a little parent joke Robbie). She had been hiding in a part of Limbo were time ran oh so very very fast. Interestingly she hadn't aged at all._

_She creates a blood stone from this innocent but super chatty girl by the name of Megan.   Don't, repeat, don't ever get into a conversation with her, girl must have mindless chatter powers as a secondary mutation (ha ha that's a little inside joke boys). Not fun for Meagan as now one fifth of her soul is replace by evil and magic. Ahh, I so love seeing children following in their parent's foot steps._

_She also tries to create a soul sword as well (Illyana's soul sword was lost at this point, nobody knew where it was) but all she end's up with is a soul dagger that only Megan can wield. Rather lame O. Well the other students break free and subdue Illyana, but she rather hates being called that name. It makes her... hurt. She goes by her old nickname of Darkchilde now. For that is what she really is. Hurt and darkness given form._

_They end up teleporting to the big confrontation. Cut to the chase. Another predictable big fight scene. Well, Belasco is vanquished by his Darkchilde. And this time she fries him. No more mercy. After all she's completely fallen._

_Dead O! The big Snuff! That's the first of the big three she kills, and the weakest of the three I might add._

_Now she's again in change of Limbo and is going to go the whole nine yards on poor little Megan. Create four more Blood Stones and become a god. When... (warning boys, big tearjerker of a moment) her freed and actually living brother calls her by her pet nickname of Snowflak)._

_Girl freezes. She finally remembers all of what she once was. Or who the person she is a copy of once was; still lots of confusion on that even in the higher plains. Man the guilt and shame she felt. Everything she'd ever feared about herself is true. She oh so hated herself._

_She ends up banishing them all from Limbo and locks the place down. In short she runs and hides. Then... she goes on a quest for her missing soul, blood stones, and her soul sword. Girl wants' to be what she once was. Darkchilde wants to become... Illyana and pity the fool who gets in her way._

_Limbo is bathed in blood from all the little groups who refuse to cooperate with her. But no dice. The sword is elsewhere (actually hidden in the body of Kurt, yea the blue guy back in Mexico, because his is the most pure person the prior sword wielder knew). And her missing soul stones have... vanished._

_This is when she was first formally brought to my attention at a little gathering of Hell Lords. The other Hell Lords are rather impressed by Darkchilde. Everybody found her to be very destructive and powerful. And my son was quite taken with her as well. Little side note chaps, at one point I thought about setting her up with my son, but after the fall of the Elder Gods (I'm skipping ahead a bit) I nixed that little idea. Pussy like that would likely drive the boy insane. Likely make him switch sides and... Well... I've got plans for the boy!_

_Back to the story. Turns out this totally irritating chickie by the name of Witchfire, child of Belasco, actually had the blood stones. She had called us together as she wanted what Daddy Dearest had. **Limbo**. Sometimes the apple just doesn't fall far from the tree boys. So we all agree to let her in the club if she can defeat Darkchilde and take over Limbo. Now it was obvious that she had other plans then joining the club, but hey don't we all._

_Anyway, Megan is having some training with Kurt and has one of her dark episodes. She .stabs him with her soul dagger and when it is pulled out, big reveal, the soul sword comes out as well. Darkchilde senses the sword and **BINGO** , she's right that there and takes it from Megan after a big fight. AND... she regains her human form, still has cute little horns though._

_But then her brother shows up, with the rest of the X-Men, and she strikes at him before she recognizes him. He's unhurt but again she's horrified at her actions. She flees back to Limbo only to find that Witchfire is now in charge and all powered up with the medallion that the blood stones are in. She defeats Illyana, heck guts her like a pig, and adds the blood stone that Darkchilde had created from Megan to the medallion as well._

_Now to avoid a long story, the X-men, along with Megan:_

_A ) Get into limbo_

_B) Have a big fight_

_C) Lose said fight_

_D) Megan loses a another portion of her soul into a blood stone (this time from Witchfire)_

_E) The Elder Gods are summoned from the old age home they've been slumming in_

_F) Illyana is freed by Kurt_

_G) Another big battle_

_H) Megan's latest blood stone is freed from the medallion and ends up embedded in Megan's soul dagger, and_

_I) The Elder Gods are deported back to the retirement home for old godly geasers along with the four blood stones, the medallion, and Witchfire_

_The whole crew ends back up at the X-Clubhouse where they convince Illyana to stay._

_Which she does for about three days before having a complete breakdown and goes off on a soul quest. Which she returns from only a few days later, but for her she's been gone for years (Oh, forgot to mention, she can also travel though time. Yea you really know how to pick them Johnny. Hell Lord, sorceress, mutant, and total babe by the way)._

_She's returned from the future because the Elder Gods got loose again and all the X-Men are dead. She's comeback to prepare them and stop the event from happening. Well, that's what she says. Remember she's a soulless demon, and Kitty is nowhere in sight, and her brother keeps thinking she's ok. He refuses to understand what happened to her, what she's done. Really cheapens the whole love thing as she's more then a little convinced that he loves a her that does not exist._

_And she's still nuts, but hides it quite well._

_Little hint, never ever trust a telepath's understanding of someone when they can't read that person's mind. They oh so depend on that and when they can't... well they are oh so easily fooled. Turns out Illyana's been lying to them the entire time. Played them all for suckers. Her goal wasn't to stop the Elder Gods, it was twofold. One to recover her blood stones and two... **Kill the fucking Elder Gods!**_

_She's been playing with time, arranging the whole thing. Even arranges for this dead and gone Uber mutant dude by the name of Legion (he's a split personality and a total nut case) to return to existence as he's her super mutant gun because the boy has crazy reality destroying powers._

_So the Elder Gods return, that little episode happens after her whole team is tortured and traumatized by these really bad and stupid morons; Illyana's played them as well._

_Legion shows up and **ZAP** , no more smelly old Elder Gods, very impressive. And she's got back both her own blood stones and Megan's. That's the second of the three big she kills (although to be fair she does use Legion to do the actual zapping)._

_Yea Johnny she arranged the death of gods. Makes you wonder just where you rack on that scale?_

_She get's her soul back, and then the X-Men figure it all out. Well somebody spilled the beans, and Illyana lets herself get locked up with a bomb jacket as penance as she's starting to have feeling again. Why a bomb jacket, let's just say that nobody trusted her. Not even Kitty who's back in the story at this point._

_She sits there for a long time until Scott, he's this total smuck who's in charge of the X-Men, puts her on his extinction team due to her power levels and that nifty teleportation thing she can do. But she's still in that cell when she's not on a mission with the team._

_Minor drama and adventures happen, her brother gets possessed by the love of violence and destruction because he totally gets in the way and then Phoenix_ _comes to town; which is a whole out of scope hilarious story. I almost pissed myself because I laughed so hard (But unlike you Johnny I can hold it). At the end of the whole Phoenix fiasco her brother learns that she could have feed him from the possession any time she wanted, but she, get this, loved him too much to do that._

_Thing is... she was crazy, damaged, and she knew it._

_But her brother kept pretending that she was ok even though she kept telling him that he was wrong. She needed him to understand that he loved something that did not exist, and he needed to not sacrifice himself for her and for others who don't deserve it (That boy, always so quick to be a martyr). So she taught him just how she thought, what she was, how damnation felt like._

_There really are no snowflakes in hell, right Johnny?_

_Man was he pissed, instantly rejects her, just like she thought he would._

_Eventually Phoenix goes by-by, but all those who were involuntary Phoenix hosts have their powers broken or altered in some ways. Even Illyana, but at first it manifests as greater power as she can now pull energy directly from Limbo._

_Turns out Phoenix has shattered the separations between her and Limbo. Remember that I said what she is is not very well understood. My guess, and it's a guess, is that she and Limbo are actually one. Limbo is not a reflection of her, she is a shadow of Limbo given form and life._

_Well, Limbo is convulsing and actually disrupting_ _Dormmanu's world due to her out of control Limbo powers (Not that she knew that, she thought everything was just dandy for once)._

_So... he makes a play for Limbo, summons her to Limbo, defeats her and Damns her to death. With everything that he has, and he... **fails!** Even worse, he somehow ignites her and her soul ends up becoming fully integrated with her, think super nova as an example._

_She kicks his ass and threatens him with death if he ever touches her again. Dormmanu, being the coward he is, runs away while making threats. She leaves Limbo and a few hours later he tries again (Dormmanu never was the brightest). Gets all of the X-Men that she's been hanging out with as well. He's going to kill them, and make her watch. Well she feels now, feels really bad, and finds a way out._

_Remember I said that the boundaries between her and Limbo were broken. Well she sucks all the power of Limbo into herself, leaving nothing but a big empty black void; with just her and Dormmanu remaining. Sometimes a girl just doesn't know what she's capable of until she tries. I must say I was impressed._

_Dormmanu tries to strike a deal, but she's not listening. Here's a little advice boys, you really only get one chance to kill her, then it's her turn. She uses that sword of hers and... **BAM**. One dead Dormmanu. That's the third of the big three that's she's slain._

_Got to give the girl credit, so not into that arch enemies game that so many folks like to play; including yours truly I might add._

_Lots more adventures, she even apprentices to that pompous Doctor Strange that you like to hang out with from time to time. Yea Johnny, she was his apprentice and no she did not trick him._

_Oh and she reconciles with Kitty and her brother, it was so sweet I must have used up a whole box of Kleenex. Of course if Kitty had not rejected her in the first place then there likely there would have been a whole different story, but eggs and omelets boys, eggs and omelets._

_She and Kurt were on a mission tor rescue assumed mutant hostages when you drove her mad._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So just what happened in Mexico? Time to stop being coy about it.

**Part 8a: Mexico (part 4, or what came before)**

Incineration.

 

Being covered in fire means you're being burned alive, a very painful way to die. But hellfire can be used to cause pain instead of burns (although Johnny can also generate ordinary flames as well). The pain being the pain that you have caused others, think of it as your sins coming home to roost, or roast in this case.

Kurt briefly screamed and fell to his hands and knees writhing in pain, but he was quickly able to recover as the flames quickly ran off of him like water. In part because he was mostly a very good person, in part because his armor had been enchanted by Illyana (fringe benefit from hanging out with a mage of Illyana abilities), and a prayer that he had cried out in German **_"Lieber Gott, bitte helfen"!_**

Illyana fell to her knees, threw back her head and screamed like the damned. The flames covered her and stuck like napalm. Second by second the flames burned brighter and the orange glow started to turn white hot. Unlike other hellfire victims there was actual heat coming off of her (a great deal of heat) and it drove back the crowd.

 

Kurt quickly crawled backwards from the blaze while shouting again in German. **_"Illyana! Was ist los_** ** _"!_**

 

Robbie shielded his eyes and face with his left hand. _"Ummm, Johnny?! I've never seen your flames do that before"?!_

Johnny had already transformed into his Ghost Rider incarnation a burning black leather clad skull headed biker (and was really hoping that the waitress had not seen the transformation) as women tended to find it a big turn off.

 

_"I have Robbie! I've seen it when... **OH SHIT** "!_

Illyana ignited like a metal fire with a roar like a space shuttle solid rocket boaster on launch.

 

Blinding white flames and a wave of burning sulfurous heat. Everybody backed up even further as even the stones that Illyana was knelt upon begin to melt. She still had her head thrown back, she may have still been screaming but roar of the flames drowned out everything.

 

The light was too bright ever for Johnny, everybody shielded their eyes and/or turned their heads.

 

Then the light and the sound suddenly ended like somebody had hit an off button.

Johnny and Robbie lowered their hands, Robbie had transformed into his Ghost Driver aspect (burning race car driver suit and helmet).

 

Where once a scantily clad women had knelled there now stood a female black hoofed entity.

 

She was slightly taller, had female human form but goat hoofed feet (but human knees). She was garbed neck to hairy knees in a spiky black body suit that had some armor on it. Her hands were still human hands but now had reddish skin. And her head... Her head was a mass of flames and so was her hair. Her head was now just a skull like mask with horns. But she had no eyes, just burning pits, like opening into a blast furnace. And her mouth was a pit of flame with burning teeth.

 

She was holding a incandescent sword in her right hand that looked like flame given form. She gestured with the sword and a voice screamed out of that burning skull.

 

**_" YOU! HOW... DARE... YOU"!_ **

Johnny was right out of quick quips. The situation had gone from taking out two demons to apparently encountering a big bad. _"Ummm...."?_

Robbie was quicker on the uptake. _"Shit Johnny! **Run** "!_

**_"WHAT DID YOU DO TO... TO... me_** "? She had a tone and somehow an expression of loss of... confusion in that terrible face.

****

Johnny always favored a quick offense. He cut loose with another blast of hellfire that enveloped her, and... did nothing.

 

She raised her left hand and the flames flowed into her palm and into a ball of flame.

 

That face snarled. ** _"NO... Not here, not... where I am less then what I... ?am?"._**

 

With a flash of light Illyana, Johnny, and Robbie were gone, leaving a stunned and confused Kurt just as the concealed mutants were teleported into the square and the riot began.

 

 

**Part 8b: Out of the frying pan and into the deep fryer**

Johnny and Robbie quickly surveyed their surrounds. The sky was orange. The air was dry and the ground was dusty with scattered rocks. The only thing of note was **her**.

 

She was still holding that sword but the ball of flame had vanished from her left hand. Now that hand was clenched so hard that blood was flowing down her forearm from the cuts caused by her nails.

 

A voice like a furnace that could speak. ** _"What... what did you do to... ?me?"._**

_"Just revealed what you truly are you demonic bitch"!_ Was Johnny's quick retort, perhaps not the brightest thing to say (rather like trying to put out a fire with a bucket of gasoline I suppose).

 

Johnny decided to fall back on fisticuffs as fire appeared to have no longer have any affect. He ran towards her right side with his flaming right fist raised to strike. Robbie cut to her left side so as to strike at her from the other side. Johnny also lashed out with a chain from his chest to bind her.

 

Her sword slashed at the chain as it reached for her and with a clashing screech the chain was cut. **CUT!** Johnny's chains had never been cut before, in fact he believe they were unbreakable.

 

Johnny screamed in pain and dropped to his knees, she backhanded Robbie and he flew backwards thirty feet and bounced a few times.

 

She gestured with her left hand ** _"BIDE"._**

 

Johnny and Robbie were frozen.

Those burning eye holes appeared to narrow as if squinting.

**_"Demons... Riders... You are ghost riders...."_ **

She shuddered and screamed. **_"WHAT AM I? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME"?!_**

Johnny exerted himself fully and managed to break the binding that was upon him. He stood up and again ran at her only to rebound off of some unseen barrier.

 

He picked himself back of the ground, grabbed the frozen Robbie and decided that enough was enough. Johnny raised his left hand and gave Illyana a one fingered salute as he shifted himself and Robbie back to earth. **_"Sayonara Bitch"!_**

 

Well... he tried.

 

What happened was... nothing. No shifting, no traveling of the planes, not even a minor fade out and return. Nope, the big zilch.

 

She appeared to tilt her head slightly as she looked upon them. She lowered her left hand and now her blood began to drip upon the ground which caused the ground to begin to bubble and boil at her feet.

 

**_"Riders... Hmmm... you appeared to have played a... game with me so now it's time to... play a game with you"._ **

 

She gestured with her sword and the land convulsed. A dirt road erupted into existence. It started at the feet of Johnny and Robbie. It ran for several hundred feet before a whitish paved road began.

 

**_"Run little riders... run... If you cross the finish line I will permit you to live"._ **

 

She planted her sword into the boiling ground and shapes began to take form. A reptilian head wiggled free from the ground and strange ghostly specters began to also pull themselves out of the ground.

 

Robbie suddenly found himself unfrozen. _"Shit Johnny! Time to get the hell out of Dodge Bro! La perra va a matarnos"!_

 

More reptiles began to claw themselves from the ground. The first one was abasing itself before her and she was scratching the top of its head. Damn thing sounded like it was purring. More were pulling themselves free and they were all bowing as well.

 

_"Bad idea to play her game Robbie"!_

 

Again that voice. ** _"Die, here... die on the road... die at the finish line... all the same to me"._**

 

Robbie summoned his black Dodge Charger. _"Talk about it latter Bro! We need to move now. Bitch is going to let her pets loose any minute and that Fing sword is mucho más allá de miedo"!_

**_"SHIT"!_** Johnny exclaimed in frustration as he got into the Dodge.

 

Illyana watched them leave in a burst of gravel. The car stereo was playing a rather ironic song, it was Maneater by Hall and Oates.

 

...

...

(Oh-oh, here she comes)

Watch out boy

She'll chew you up

(Oh-oh, here she comes)

She's a maneater

(Oh-oh, here she comes)

Watch out boy

She'll chew you up

(Oh-oh, here she comes)

She's a maneater

 

I wouldn't if I were yo

I know what she can do

She's deadly man

And she could really rip your world apart

Mind over matter

Ooh, the beauty is there

But a beast is in the heart

...

...

 

After they had gone roughly a thousand feet she uttered one word.

 

**_"Sic"!_ **

 

The ghostly figures mounted the Velociraptors and the case began.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Illyana went nuts as it were. But why?

**Part 9: Another fine mess that you've gotten me into (part 5)**

 

They were finally through the cloud of baboons and the exterior of the car was in desperate need of a good wash and repair; and so was the now torn and befouled interior. Unbeknownst to the occupants three baboons where hiding beneath the car plotting a surprise attack.

 

Johnny angrily denied Mephisto's assertion. _"We didn't drive her insane"!_

 

Mephisto wasn't having any of that. _"Yea you did Johnny boy. Yea you did. It was the last pain that pushed her over the edge. The last... harm. Girl is apparently feeling positively... maternal! Who'd have ever thought she had it in her"?_

A bitter frown by Mephisto. _"Losing one's parents hurts, don't it Johnny boy? But being completely rejected by one's parents... well that hurts in a way that never goes away"._

 

Mephisto got a far away look in his eyes as he continued to speak. _"Never goes away... like it's our fault even though this is how we were created to be. But no... the big reject-o! Discarded for being who we are with no chance for a relook. Well wounds like that bleed forever.... but I digress. Such a pain is one known well by Illyana, but to believe herself to be the cause of such pain for another? Another that she's come to care about? One who's situation so echo's her own? Well, that was the final straw as it were. That suffering exploited a recent chink in her armor as she held herself responsible for another's pain and grief"._

A bitter grin from Mephisto. _"Funny thing about your hellfire Johnny, pain that one believes they have caused is also afflicted upon the recipient, just as if they had actually done the pain. Guilt is always so... deliciously self damning. She was down and out and that pain created one hell of a feedback loop due to her belief that she... well, that final agony made her run away and shutdown"._

Mephisto get a bit cryptic as he shook his head slightly back and forth. _"Here's a free bit of advice boys. Never get between a momma bear and her cub. Especially when momma is... well... something like her. A bit of advice that some other folks really should pay attention to, but that's another story boys"._

The car continued to fall nose first. Johnny though that the ground finally looked closer.

 

_Johnny shouted "So why are you really here Mephisto"!?_

Mephisto half grinned. _"For the shear hilarity. Plus... I need to watch over my... investments as it were. Say... you boys ever see the film vanishing point"?_

Robbie and Johnny looked at each other. _"Umm... no"._

_"Well... wouldn't want to spoil anything then. I looked upon your plight and I thought... Three blokes on a road trip looked like... fun. Always need to remember to get out and about. Hell gets so... stuffy at times"._

 

Robbie injected. _"Just like on Top Gear"!_

 

 _"Hmm, yes... "_ Mephisto rubbed his chin. " _I suppose I'm Clarkson as I'm the smartest and the sexist guy here. Robbie is the Hamster and I suppose that makes you May Johnny boy"._

 

_"Why am I May?! I should be the Hamster or Clarkson"!_

 

_"Well Jonny you have the hair for it and there was that time you... experimented with your sexual identity; and you are so... slow..."._

 

Robbie gave Johnny a sideways glance (Yea Robbie hated mutants and was also not into non heterosexual behaviors from guys, girls on the other hand... well that was hot).

 

**_"I DID NOT"!!_ **

Mephisto replied with a leer and a chuckle. _"Not judging Johnny boy, so not judging. Whatever floats your boat, scratches the itch, clears the pipes, it's all the same to me. The nasty is the nasty regardless of whom or what you do it with"._

 

**_"YOU LYING BASTARD"!!_ **

_"Johnny that hurt... You wound me. It's like this Robbie, years ago Johnny and I had been trying to come to an understanding, well... for some reason we were bar hopping as we argued. Johnny ends up gets stinking blackout drunk and we end up at this gay bar. Now give Johnny credit, he's not into the effeminate guys, no not Johnny. Turns out muscle queens float his boat, takes pumping iron to a whole new level. And Johnny is both a give and a receiver if you get my drift"._

**_"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LIER"!!_ **

_The three of us end up in a menage a trois back at my place and rocked the night away. Well Johnny wakes up the next day and is... rather upset. Not too upset for another quickie, but upset none the less"._

**"THAT NEVER HAPPENED"!!!!**

 

_"Sure Johnny boy, sure. I'm making this all up just to get you upset. Right Robbie"?_

Robbie decided to agree and try to get off this very uncomfortable topic of conversation.

_"Umm, yea! Sure"!_

There was a lull in the conversation and you could just hear Johnny grinding his teeth.

 

Mephisto tossed his empty tall boy bottle out of the car (which later smacked a baboon in the face) and summoned another beer, this time Gardeners Delight from fallen angel brewery (the bottle art was rather... sexist).

 

_"Now I'm sure Johnny has told all kinds of stories about me. Some true, some false, some unfairly based upon his own perspective"._

 

_" **Perspective?!** You lied about saving my Father"!_

 

A scowl from Mephisto. _"Yes perspective Johnny. And wrong yet again, I kept my word. Healed your father of the big C when Johnny came a begging and offering his soul, that's cancer by the way Robbie in case you didn't know. And do you know what the big oaf of a father figure does next Robbie"?_

_"Ummm..."_ Robbie replied as he was rather uncomfortable being involved in this conversation as well.

 

A look of irritated vexation from Mephisto. " _Goes right back to jumping motorcycles over long lines of cars; not a healthy career choice; one must wonder about his high school guidance councilor. Opps my bad, Daddio didn't graduate as we're not talking Rhodes Scholar material here.. Doesn't take a genius to figure out that the job is rather.. risky. So old Daddio bites it in a fiery crash, no real surprise to be honest. And does Johnny boy pay up? Noooooo... Welched on the deal just a quick as can be"._

 

Johnny was quick to respond. _"You know he was going to die in that crash! You cheated"!_

 

_"No Johnny boy, no. Of course I knew he was going to die, you all do. That whole mortal thing you have going. However I did not know the exact cause as I don't know the future. I mean... pull your head out of your ass Johnny, if I knew the future don't you think I'd win more often? Our deal Johnny was, and I quote (Heal my dad of cancer. I don't want my dad to die of cancer). I kept my end of the bargain Johnny, you didn't"._

_"Your twisting what happened"!_

_"Of course I'm twisting what happened, I'm a devil Johnny which was fully disclosed to you when we struck our little deal"._

Johnny fumed and sputtered in rage.

Mephisto sounded annoyed as he then spoke to Robbie. _"That's the thing Robbie. I did what was contractually agreed to. So was Daddio now supposed to live forever? That was so not in the agreement. Remember what I told you about Johnny and investment advice? Well he sucks at contracts as well, when he's not sucking something else that is. Johnny is so out of line on what he wants. I mean.. does that sound fair to you Robbie"?_

_"Ummm..."_ was Robbie's response again.

_"Speaking of you Robbie... I've got to say that I like what you've been doing in your old neighborhood. Cleaning up the trash as it were. That's the kind of family values we like at team_ _Mephisto. We respect that and believe that if just more people felt as you do the world would be a safer and better place for everybody"._

_"Don't listen to him Robbie! It's all a line of bullshit"!_

_"Quiet you, Robbie's a grown man. I'm not suggesting any kind of a deal Robbie, at least not yet. But I'd like you to keep me in mind when you want to take your game to the next level; go professional as it were. I know some folks on the NASCAR circuit, hell I even sponsor a few teams, and I can likely get you a gig to start out at. Hell if you really have what it takes you could work your way up to driver. Oh... and Johnny's right for once, you need to learn how to play golf"._

Johnny came to a decision, and attempted to change the conversation. _"OK Robbie, we need to turn around and fix this with her"!_

Mephisto threw back his head and howled in laughter.

 

_"How Noble! So... heroic! So utterly.. dewsh baggy! She out to kill you both after... first playing with you. Saying sorry is not going to work boys. So just where are you on the screwed index? On a scale of zero to being the Beyonder's butt slave for all eternity (which is a ten by the way) you boys are... somewhere between a bloated PMSing Godzilla and Jean Grey finding out that her dearest Scott has been cheating on her with Emma Frost"._

_"Who's Jean Grey"?!_ They both asked in confusion.

 

Before Mephisto could answer the hidden baboons chose to attack.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I find the interactions Illyana has with Sapna to be rather sweet. Shows the big sister side of Illyana that the others really never see (only Kitty has really seen it). And Sapna's experiences so mimic Illyana's (intentionally is my guess) minus the abuse. But Sapna's loss of her Mother and Father has got to gnaw at Illyana (apparent on some of Illyana's facial expressions when Sapna can't see her).
> 
> I figure Illyana holds herself responsible for Sapna's pain.

**Part 10: Hallway pass**

The Jean Grey School (JGS) was still teaching classes for the younger mutants and the refugee children. Some of the current teachers were in fact recruited from the ranks of the refugees.

 

There were two main types of classes, the one's that took place inside the school buildings (mostly reserved for actual students of JGS and recent recruits). The other classes tended to take place in various tents, although sometimes the JGS school rooms were used as well.

 

Sapna (Illyana's quasi young apprentice) was currently in an English class listening to the teacher lecture about creative writing. She was now formally part of the JGS academy. This was by direction of Storm, but some folks whispered that Storm only did it because Illyana told her to. Other countered that why on earth would Sapna not be in the JGS?

 

Sapna had asked Illyana, but all Illyana would say was that academic admissions were not her department.

 

 _"You're in the JGS because you deserve to be. Simple as that"_ was her statement.

 

Made Sapna feel nice (even if she did suspect that Illyana must of had a hand in it).

 

Sapna's mutant abilities had manifested in Limbo, resulting in her absorbing massive amounts of arcane knowledge about magic, thereby becoming Illyana's apprentice. The M-Pox had really hurt Sapna's body, and the blast of magic powers had also left her partially transformed. Her skin was scaly in parts, had cracks and her eyes were scary now (she really hated looking in the mirror).

 

Her parent's had abandoned her once this happened, called her evil and a demon; which had left Sapna beyond devastated. Only Illyana was there for her, only Illyana treated her like the girl that she was. It would be an understatement to say Sapna treasured Illyana, as Illyana was the only thing she now had.

 

Sapna had just started working on the exercise (write a funny story involving a pet of yours) and was trying to come up with a story about Booger (her pet demon), the time the hot dog came out his nose at last week's barbecue was a good candidate, when she started to feel bad, real bad.

 

She... the continual background pain of losing Maan and Pita (Mother and Father in Hini) surged yet again to the foreground. Sapna felt tears begin to stream down her face as she suddenly sobbed. She so wanted her Maan and Pita, and Pita's words had so hurt.

 

It was not uncommon for students to have crying fits. Things had been rather bad and many had lots of issues and trauma. Others however had friends who would be there for them were as Sapna, didn't. But she did have Magik, at least Magik was always there for her and didn't think she was ugly or evil or call her names or be scared of her. Magik was like the big sister she'd never had.

 

The teacher at least asked Sapna if she wanted to have some private time (Storm had made it plain to the staff that Sapna was not to be ignored). Sapna just shook her head no and put her head down.

 

Slowly Sapna began to realize that for once the hurt was... different? The hurt was... external? Somebody else... somebody else was hurting and it felt just like... her lose, her hurt, her pain.

 

In fact... it was her loss!

 

Sapna began to get some feedback, well more of a chant. _"I did it! My fault! I caused it! Hurt just like me! NO! NO! NO!... I did it! My fault! I caused it! Hurt just like me! NO! NO! NO!.... I did it! My fault! I..."_

 

It... it was Magik! Magik was suffering! Magik was... feeling Sapna's pain and it was blinding her!

 

Sapna quickly dried her tears and raised her hand.

 

 _"Yes Miss_ Sapna _?"_ inquired the teacher.

 

 _May I go? Miss Rasputin is summoning me"_ Which was a little white lie, but kind of accurate.

 

" _Ummm... Yes, but please have Miss Rasputin check in with me later"._ Say what you wanted about Illyana, she didn't undermine the authority of the teachers. Moreover, let's face it, not many students would come up with that line anyway.

 

Sapna quickly pushed her stuff into her little mermaid backpack and hurried out of the room and then the school. She met Booger (remember her pet demon) at by the school main entrance as the school rather frowned upon the demon being in the hallways.

 

_"Illyana's in trouble Booger! Can you... can you find her"?_

Booger couldn't talk (think really smart dog here), but he nodded his head and wagged his tail; Sapna had taught him to wag, and no, the other demons did not find it funny. General rule for demons was (1) don't piss off the boss. (2) See rule number 1. (3) There are no more rules, see rule one; well there were other rules but they tended to be flexible and in flux.

 

Sapna got on Booger's back and Booger took to the air.

 

There! The pain was coming from that direction!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mephisto is an interesting character to write. I figure he's a "Player" with a capital P. Smart, sophisticated, sarcastic, and very wicked (from what I've read over the years). Johnny and Robbie on the other hand are... well... rather rednecky.
> 
> Although I suspect Johnny's a social liberal when in polite company.

**Part 11a: Regrets (part 1), beer goggles, and for some reason a dog has joined the party**

 

Our totally awesome trio are once again speeding down the bone road of death. The Dodge Charger has somehow mostly been repaired, but the roof is still missing. A flaming baboon skull was now serving as a hood ornament. Robbie was still in the driver seat and Johnny was still riding shotgun. Mephisto was sitting in the back left passenger seat and a dog was now riding along behind Johnny and next to Mephisto.

 

The dog was a pure breed female Rough Collie (the breed that was in the Lassie TV series, also known as a long haired Collie). The dog was wearing a pair of goggles and had her nose stuck into the slip stream sampling the scents. Mephisto was gently stroking the dog's back.

 

Nobody was talking. But a song was playing on the radio, the mournful crooner When a Man Loves a Woman by Percy Sledge (this time Mephisto was messing with the car stereo because... we he was Mephisto and just loved twisting the knife).

 

_When a man loves a woman,_

_Can't keep his mind on nothin' else,_

_He'd change the world for the good thing he's found._

_If she is bad, he can't see it,_

_She can do no wrong,_

_Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down._

_When a man loves a woman,_

_He'll spend his very last dime_

_Tryin' to hold on to what he needs._

_He'd give up all his comforts_

_And sleep out in the rain,_

_If she said that's the way_

_It ought to be._

_Well, this man loves you, woman._

_I gave you everything I have,_

_Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love_

_Baby, please don't treat me bad_

_When a man loves a woman,_

_Down deep in his soul,_

_She can bring him such misery_

_If she is playin' him for a fool,_

_He's the last one to know._

_Lovin' eyes can never see._

_When a man loves a woman_

_He can do her no wrong,_

_He can never want_

_Some other girl._

_Yes, When a man loves a woman_

_I know exactly how he feels,_

_'Cause baby, baby, you're my world_

_When a man loves a woman...._

 

 

Then Robbie asked a question that you the viewers don't quite hear (well he yelled really, the vibration and noise was still appalling). Johnny answered (yelled back because it was so hard to hear).

 

_"Don’t want to talk about it Robbie”!_

Johnny looked embarrassed (as much as a flaming skull can look embarrassed that is, more of a body language thing).

_"But Bro! It looked like... I mean. Did you really?... Mierda, no puede creer que se golpea"!_

_"Don't want to talk about it Robbie"!_

How did the car get repaired? Where did the dog come from? And just why is Johnny mortified? Stay tuned and find out!

 

 

**Part 11b: Some time ago part 1**

 

Let's roll back the clock to some time ago....

 

 _“Shit the grounds coming up fast Johnny”!_ Yelled Robbie. _“Angle her nose down a tad more”!_

 

Johnny braced himself against the door frame and fired another blast of fire that depressed the nose of the car.

 

_“Perfect! Hold on, the ramps coming up”!_

 

There was steep ramp below the airborne car that was set to receive the plunging vehicle.

 

With a tortured shriek of breaking metal the car and the ramp met. The rear left tire detonated and blew off some body work. The rear axel broke in half and so did the drive shaft. The front right wheel broke off and went spinning off somewhere. The car skidded down the ramp for several hundred feet, the slope gradually declining until the car came to a jarring stop level on the ground.

 

 _“Good car handling Robbie”_ commented Mephisto. _“Nice that you were able to prevent us cart wheeling down the ramp. Wouldn’t want to lose my hat or mess up my hair”._

_“Uhhhh…. thanks”_ replied Robbie.

 

Mephisto opened his door which promptly fell off. _“Looks like you boys need to do some emergency road side maintenance. Pardon me for a moment, need to drain the lizard, had a few too many tall boys”._

With that Mephisto got out of the car and ambled over to a convenient bush, unzipped… um… well moved his loin cloth out of the way, and proceeded to water the bush (which promptly died).

 

Johnny, Robbie, and Mephisto all let out a long sigh of relief (all for different reasons) as the front left wheel slowly deflated as well (I guess the car was relieved as well).

 

 _“Shit Johnny, now what”?_ For once Robbie didn’t have to shout.

 

_“Now we fix the car. Need to reconjure it back into existence”._

_“And what about… you know... el diablo meando por allí”_ Robbie flicked his head slightly in the direction of the pissing Mephisto.

 

 _“We’re stuck with his infernal irateus maxumos for now”._ Replied Johnny with a sigh, which prompted the still pissing Mephisto to shout _“I heard that”._ At this point the now dead bush he was pissing on burst into flames.

 

Both Robbie and Johnny opened their doors, which stayed attached to the car, but Johnny did have to kick his a few times as it was stuck. They got out and Johnny started to show Robbie some quick hellfire repairs.

 

Because it was one of those days that nothing goes right, the still pissing Mephisto pointed into the sky and commented; oh and the bush not only was burning but was dissolving and beginning to eat into the ground. _“Looks like you boys have some incoming company”._

 

They jerked their heads up and saw the remaining raptor mounted riders coming down the ramp.

 

Johnny shouted _“You fix the car Robbie! I’ll handle this”!_

With that Johnny began to grow in size until he was roughly twenty five feet tall. He manifested a burning baseball bat and yelled **_“Batter up”!_** as he swung and sent one of the riders right back into the sky.

 

 _“Good swing Johnny! Put your back into it just like your Pa taught you”!_ Yelled Mephisto who was now pissing into a burning hole in the ground.

 

Battle royal commenced while Robbie got to work fixing the car and the still pissing Mephisto kept yelling commentary like he was a sports color announcer.

 

Meanwhile a very large hang glider holding a T-Rex shaped entity could be seen rapidly approaching from a direction that neither Johnny or Robbie were facing.

 

Mephisto saw it and just grinned, and still he pissed on and on and on and…

 

 

**Part 11c: Regrets (part 2)**

 

Now the song Sometimes when we touch by Dan Hill was playing (Mephisto was still having fun).

 

_You ask me if I love you_

_And I choke on my reply_

_I'd rather hurt you honestly_

_Than mislead you with a lie_

_And who am I to judge you_

_In what you say or do_

_I'm only just beginning_

_To see the real you_

_And sometimes when we touch_

_The honesty's too much_

_And I have to close my eyes_

_And hide_

_I want to hold you till I die_

_Till we both break down and cry_

_I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides_

_..._

_..._

 

_“I don’t want to talk about it Robbie”!_

 

_“Dude, it kind of looked like it… well it… she… whatever the hell it was… I guess… I mean… it looked like you two were… shit Bro, that was nasty”!_

 

_“Don’t want to talk about it Robbie”!_

 

A smoky smile from Mephisto. “ _Ahh… amour”._

 

Robbie nervously snickered which earned another sharp glance from Johnny.

 

Mephisto tried to sound like a kindly uncle. “ _Don’t you just hate it when folks just won’t take no for an answer? I mean… No mean no. Right Johnny”?_

 

**_“I said I don’t’ want to talk about it”!_ **

 

Mephisto continued _“Blame it on the demonic pheromones, that lizard of a tramp had you pinned down and just blasted you with them. I guess she finds under endowed twenty five foot tall fiery skull headed dudes a real turn on. You know what they say about girls loving the bad boy. Maybe you should check out her Facebook page, although I think most Infernal dimensions are still using Myspace. Don’t worry Johnny boy… I’m sure you’re not compatible at the biological level, no need to worry about little Johnny headed T-Rex’s running around. Then again…”_

 

**_“I SAID I DON”T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT”!!!_ **

 

_“Let him be Robbie, he was like that after waking up that morning as well. Mr. grouchy we called him. Although Johnny…”?_

 

Johnny punched a hole in the windshield. ** _“WHAT”?!_**

 

_“You really need to wash your… well… you know… off. Never know where she’s been”._

 

**_“AHHHHH! I hate this place! HATE HATE HATE! AHHHHHHH”!_ **

 

_“You’re not the first person to make that observation Johnny. It’s ok, we’re all men here.   Scream it out. We’re here for you”._

 

**_“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”!_ **

 

_“See Robbie, real men aren’t afraid to cry”._

**Part 11d: Some time ago part 2**

Johnny battled the mounded rides while Robbie used hellfire to hurriedly repair the car. Johnny hit it the last rider out of the park, according to Mephisto’s ongoing color commentary.

 

_“And it’s a high long hit sports fans! Ohhh that’s gona leave a mark! Although the lack of a head is going to cause problem of its own! Ut-oh, Looks like Johnny’s form has the groupies all riled up and looking for a home run of a different kind”._

With that comment the T-Rex with the lamprey mouth tackled Johnny from behind. Johnny twisted as he fell and he landed face up. The T-Rex demon exhaled a cloud of purple gas and Johnny convulsed.

 

 _“Johnny”!_ Yelled Robbie getting to his feet, before he could run Mephisto grabbed his left shoulder from behind.

 

_“Hold on there partner! You don’t want to get anywhere near that gas”._

Robbie turned around to confront Mephisto. _“We got to save Johnny”!_

_“Johnny don’t need saving in the traditional sense, and I really don’t think you want to… well get involved at this point. I don’t think it’s your thing. Keep in mind that I’m really doing you a favor here Robbie, saving you years of therapy. Years I’m telling ya…”._

_“What”?_ Was Robbie’s question as he turned around.   Johnny and the monster were still fighting, Johnny was… um… that… that don’t quite look… oh shit that’s not fighting.

 

_“Johnny on the other hand **is** going to need some expense therapy after this. Worse case of beer goggles I’ve ever seen”._

Johnny and the T-Rex demon were… well... how to put it… I guess doing the nasty is rather descriptive and gets right to the point.

 

Robbie was horrified. Mephisto on the other hand was busy filming it with his iPhone 7 as Hell Lords get early releases of Apple products (part of a deal that Steve Jobs made).

_“Robbie, do you think I should enter this into the filmed on an iPhone contest that Apple runs? Just look at the colors! The action! I could title it if the ground is a rocking, don’t come a knocking”._

 

_“No”._

 

_“Too graphic”._

_“Yea”._

 

_“Well… I’ll keep it for the archives. One never knows. Oh!!!! I see Johnny’s regained the upper hand as it were as he’s on top now. That’s showing the skank! You go Johnny! Show her who’s Boss… Oh… Dear. I guess that would be her then, Ouch”!_

 

Robbie turned away from the horror with a murmured _“Shit Bro, ese es el skank más desagradable que he visto"._

 

 

**Part 11e: Some time ago part 3**

 

Some time later…

 

The car was once more on the road, still missing its top. Robbie was driving and Johnny (returned to normal size) was sitting with his head in his hands. For once nothing was chasing them.

 

Mephisto tapped Robbie on the shoulder. _“Stop the car for a moment”._

Robbie asked a question as he slowed down and stopped the car. _“Why”._

 

 _“I see something, give me a minute”_ Mephisto answered as he opened the door, stepped out and walked about fifty feet. A hereto unseen dog (a collie) suddenly stuck its head over a rock that it has been lying behind.

Mephisto crouched down next to the collie, _"What's wrong Lassie? What is it girl"?_

 

The dog barked several times. _"Bark, bark bark bark, bark"!_

_"What's that"?_ Mephisto replied as he cocked his head a bit sideways to listen (yea he speaks dog). _"Timmy's fallen into that old abandoned well yet again"?_

 

_"Bark, bark bark, baaaaarrrrrk"!_

 

_"Yes, I must agree. Timmy is a dunce. Always getting into trouble. Not a lick of common sense in that boy"._

 

**_"Bark"!_ **

 

_"Really? That seems... excessively vindictive of you"._

 

**_"Bark, Bark"!_ **

****

_"Lassie you little bitch! You pushed him in this time? Why"?_

 

_"Bark, bark bark bark arf arf bark bark, grunt, whine whine, **howl** "!_

 

_"Ah, so you were tired of running the whole damn farm by yourself while the parents skimped on child care by always putting a dog in charge. And they were always getting liquored up and wife swapping with the neighbors rather then minding the boy. Yea, I can rather understand how that could get very vexing over time"._

 

**_"Bark"!_ **

_"And Grandpa got into the Communion wine again? Tsk, silly Grandpa"._

_"Bark bark"!_

_"And Timmy keeps... Oh that is so naughty! Well... what can I say?   Young boys and puberty and all that"._

 

**_"Baaaaaaarrrrrkkkkkkk"!_ **

 

_"And all you ever got was a can of cheap dog food from the 99 cent store while they ate steak? The ingrates! Save the kid yet again and you don't even get a doggie biscuit. I must agree that was very miserly of them. And you with the Alpo contract and all"._

 

_"Bark, bark, bark, **grrrrrr** "!_

 

_"And your agent embezzled all of your TV earnings as well? Well... I feel for you girl. Feel for you"!_

 

**_"Grrrr"._ **

 

_"Yea, I'd have torn out his throat as well. But... burning down the farm, pushing junior into that well, and killing the rest of the family with a chain saw? Well... easy to see why you ended up here girl"._

_"Whine..."?_

 

_"I'm not sure. Could be dangerous"._

 

**"Bark"!**

 

 _"Yea girl... you do make a good point there "_ Mephisto looked over at Robbie and Johnny sitting in the car.

 

_"They do kind of act like Timmy. Likely get into all kinds of trouble if there's an abandoned well around, or I suppose a pair of naked breasts. Ok, you can come with us but no messes in the car, Johnny's already ruined the upholstery and we don't need to add dog filth to the equation"._

 

_"Bark"?_

 

_"Yes, you can bring your chew toy"._

 

A slow and evil **_"baaaaaarrkkk"._**

 

_"Yes, I agree, Timmy's going to have a hard time climbing out of that well with only one hand"._

 

 

**Part 11f: Regrets (part 3)**

 

 _“Eweee! That’s gross! Toss it out”!_ Proclaimed Robbie upon seeing Lassie’s chew toy.

 

Mephisto was a bit sharp in his response. “ _Robbie man up. Getting so worked up about a severed hand. I mean… what’s so gross about a detached hand after all those dead prostitutes you’ve been shoving in the car’s trunk so as to make them disappear”._

 

Robbie froze, and Johnny froze as well.

 

Now it was Robbie’s turn to get defensive. _“That’s bull man! I’ve never done that”! Además, mi madre me mataría"._

Mephisto had a puzzled expression and then glanced at Johnny. “ _Oh… my bad. Opps, umm… did I say prostitutes? I meant gang bangers. One sinner looks so much like another. Yea… gang bangers. Not raped and strangled prostitutes who’ve been mutilated. Nope, not that… that would be bad”._

 

The conversation faded and they drove quietly for a while (well relativity quiet, road of bones and all).

 

 _“Robbie did you… ummm”?!_ Johnny didn’t know what to say.

 

_“ **NO!** Did you… Umm…with the muscle… queen dude”?!_

 

**_“NO”!_ **

 

_“Well then no to the both of us then”!_

 

Mephisto smiled _“Ahh, you boys are such fun. Don’t worry Robbie”._ (wink, wink) _“I know how to keep a secret”._

 

Lassie laid down and began to gnaw on her chew toy. “ _Bark bark, growl”._

 

Mephisto scratched her head while he responded. _“They can’t all be rocket scientists Lassie, world needs all kinds, even the dumb ones. I mean… somebody needs to buy the late night infomercial crap”._

 

_“Grrr Bark”._

 

_“Yea, they kind of are a match pair and I do think one of them does own a Sham Wow right Robbie”?_

 

_“Whine”._

 

_“No… I don’t suppose they can be trusted around open wells. Whole bunch of Timmy in them”._

 

You could near Robbie and Johnny grinding their teeth. Now they were getting dissed by a dog.

 

_“Arf”?_

_“No girl, you don’t want to know why he smells like that”._

 

The dog’s ears went back and she backed away from Johnny as far as the seat would allow; and tucked her chew toy away like Johnny couldn’t be trusted to not do something… unnatural or… perverted with the severed hand.

 

Johnny sighed to himself. This was one sucko crap feast of a day. By far the worse one in recent memory.

Mephisto started to whistle the song Ghost riders in the sky as the car drove on.

 

...

...

_Yippie I ohhh oh oh_

_Yippie I aye ye ye_

_Ghost riders in the sky_


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As one reviewer noted, yea it's fun having Mephisto needle Johnny. I figure it leaves Johnny befuddled as to the lack of a big fight with Mephisto.
> 
> I'm running out of ideas for this story so I suspect the end is in sight (which I've already done a rough draft of). So... any idea?

**Part 12: Travels and travails**

The road trip of death continued for our unlikely quartet! Well... that's what Robbie called it. He always liked to hype up whatever he was doing.

Johnny had been very quiet while the quartet continued driving upon the bone road (Yea Mephisto made a few comments about boning and getting boned on the bone road) but Johnny had not responded to his taunts.

...

...

 

They survived the forest of flames. Which reminded Mephisto of when Troy burned.

 

_"Troy burned because the weenie roast got out of hand. Of course the weenies in question were still attached to the captured Trojans. You see Robbie, the Greeks were burning the prisoners alive and things got way out of hand. Let me tell you, Boy oh Boy was Helen one heck of a looker, legs forever and tits out to here and the girl cold suck the chrome off a door knob! Um... what do you mean you've never heard of Troy Robbie? Damn it, did you even try to learn anything school other then shop"?_

He continued. _"There are these things called books Robbie. I mean I like them dumb but I like a challenge as well. Shooting fish in a barrel is so... boring. Most of the time it's more the hunt then the actual kill, think deep sea fishing. You still look confused Robbie, well I'll explain later. Kids these days eh Johnny"?_

...

...

 

The passed through the desert of lost dreams (Both Robbie and Johnny almost lost it from the illusions. Mephisto just sighed and wiped away a tear).

 

_"We all have lost dreams boys. All of us. Some are of good things that once were. Some are of things we wished for but never got. Even devils and demons dream"._

...

...

 

They survived a giant massive rampage of two warring herds of demons, much slaying and blasting of hellfire commenced, during which a baboon that has somehow been hiding in the trunk made an unfortunate and very brief appearance.

_"Like Crypts and Bloods boys. Always fighting, always will be fighting. Reminds me of the time when I had an uprising on lower level of..."._

...

...

 

The attack by the skeleton army. Mephisto just had to make a few bone comments.

 

_"So many bones. What a bony opportunity. Ah that looks like a bony lass don't you think Johnny? That's right, give her a good whack! How can I tell that's a female skeleton you ask Robbie? Hips. It's all in the hips and the pelvis. Problem with skeletons is there's just nothing to rub against. Nothing to get a good friction going if you're male that is. Ahh... here's a nice bone for you Lassie"._

...

...

 

 

Truthfully Robbie was fascinated by Mephisto's stories, but Johnny was mostly just silent. Finally Mephisto had enough of Johnny's inattention.

 

_"Johnny boy. What's wrong? You used to be so full of spunk. Well used to be I guess. She drained you faster then Rosie O-Donnell and a jelly donut. Must of have been that prostrate massage from her tail. Ouch! Man that must have been... different. So much more then just the first knuckle of a finger"._

 

 _"Please just leave it alone Mephisto"_ was Johnny's quiet response.

 

Yea the road noise was still appalling, but Mephisto had no problem hearing Johnny. Mephisto's eyes narrowed in what looked like actual concern.

 

_"Johnny, we bite and claw both physically and verbally at each other all the time. I insult you and plague you with torments; you insult me back and ruin my nefarious plans. It's... kind of our thing"._

 

 _"Not interested right now"_ was Johnny's reply.

_"Wow, she really pulled a number on you. It's not your fault Johnny. Skank drugged you and had her wicked way with you. You had no control at all"._

_"Yea, right... but it sure didn't feel..."._ Johnny left the remainder unsaid.

 

Robbie fidgeted. Lassie gave Mephisto a look. Mephisto sighed.

 

_"Johnny it's not really in my job description to offer... help. I mean I'm the devil right? Get thee behind me and all that"._

 

_"Whatever..."._

 

Lassie gave Mephisto another look.

 

_"Look Johnny I can see it's really bothering you. What if I may ask. That you banged a T-Rex monster? Hell... half of the guys on earth would be bragging about it, at least in private; likely about how it's big enough for a dinosaur. That you were drugged? Well damn Johnny we both know you've done worse things under the influence. That you did it in public? Again you've done worse. Remember the time you went to Burning Man where you ate those mushrooms and met those cute and exhibitionist fans"?_

 

Johnny was silent for a while and then answered with his head down. _"I... it felt really good and I don't like what that means"._

 

Lassie whined. Robbie sighed and Mephisto was left holding the bag.

 

_"What it means Johnny is that you were absolutely toasted. Loaded to the gills. Hell, you'd have fornicated with a football. Completely involuntary and I can vouch for that from personal experience I might add"._

 

Johnny's head came up. _"Really"?_

 

 _"Yea really... I got tricked this one time and... well at least you got to bang a lizard. I banged..."._ Now it was Mephisto's turn to fall silent for a while, then he continued.

 

_"I banged dead cow zombies and a zombie male sea lion. I mean like really dead. Like more bones then flesh and the flies. And... I loved every second of it, at least while I was doing it. So not a good memory. Never did find the bastard who slipped me the roofie as it were. I so got plans for whoever did that if I can ever find them. So buck up. Yea it sucks. But I promise you that I won't ever mention it again"._

 

_"Right, like we're best buddies"._

 

_"Johnny I value what we have together. Not friends but... I like my enemies more then I like my allies. Better class of people for one. Say... want a beer"?_

_"Yea... I think I could use a cold one"._

Mephisto materialized a bucket of Blue Moon brewskies _. "Drinks on me and I'll lay giving you grief off until you feel better"._

 

_"Thanks..."._

 

And so the journey continued, with more battles but with less sarcasm (at least less aimed at Johnny, a few empties were aimed at things as they drove by). And for once the song on the stereo was nice (Ghost Riders in the sky by Johnny Cash started playing) so they all had a sing-along, even the dog howled at the good parts.

 

_An old cowboy went ridin out one dark and windy day_

_Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way_

_When all at once a mighty herd of red-eyed cows he saw_

_Plowin through the ragged skies and up a cloudy draw_

_Their brands were still on fire and their hooves were made of steel_

_Their horns were black and shiny and their hot breath he could feel_

_A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky_

_For he saw the riders comin hard and he heard their mournful cries_

_Yippie I ohhh ohh ohh   (dog howl)_

_Yippie I aye ye ye   (dog howl)_

_Ghost riders in the sky   (dog howl)_

_Their faces gaunt, their eyes were blurred_

_Their shirts all soaked with sweat_

_He's ridin hard to catch that herd_

_But he ain't caught em yet_

_Cause they got to ride forever in that range up in the sky_

_On horses snortin fire as they ride on hear their cries_

_As the riders loped on by him he heard one call his name_

_'If you wanna save your soul from hell a-ridin on our range_

_Then cowboy change your ways today or with us you will ride_

_Tryin to catch the devil's herd across these endless skies_

_Yippie I ohhh oh oh   (dog howl)_

_Yippie I aye ye ye   (dog howl)_

_Ghost riders in the sky   (dog howl)_

_Ghost riders in the sky   (dog howl)_

 

Yea, it was buddy moment.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some readers feel that the last chapter had Mephisto being way too nice. Granted that is correct in historical context, but one does catch more flies using honey then vinegar. Re-read chapter 12 after this chapter and I think you'll find that he is in character.

**Part 13a: Buddies**

Things grew less tense after that, and the conversation, between battles, was more chummy and less adversarial. " _Tres diablos y un perro"_ was how Robbie put it, like it was a sitcom or something.

 

Next on NBC, Three devils and a dog. Hilarity ensues as Johnny discovers that Mephisto's been running a Ponzi scheme involving tainted motor oil using Johnny's racing company as a front. And Robbie has problems at the dog park as Lassie kills and eats the other dogs.

 

Yep, positively chummy.

...

...

 

 

Johnny: _"For such a bastard you're not half bad when you're not being a total asshole"._

Mephisto: _"Thanks Johnny. Like I said, my enemies are a better class of people then my allies and I frankly really don't have any friends"._

Robbie: _"Umm... does the food magic work for more then beer"?_

It did. Pizza and chips! And some really good donuts (Robbie loved donuts).

...

...

 

 _"She was a real hottie"_ Remised Mephisto. _"But I let my job get in the way and I lost her. Just so... stupid of me. If I'd just for once thought it through then I'd have been a happy devil but noooo.... screwed it up yet again by being a workaholic"._

 

The bro conversation had shifted to girl friends and Mephisto was retelling how he'd screwed up the relationship with Amara Juliana Olivians Aquilla (New Mutant known as Magma). For a brief time he had dated Magma because the New Mutants (sans Magik) had ended up in hell and the price to leave was one date between Magma and Mephisto.

 

The date had gone well, but you can likely guess that it had not worked out in the end.

 

Mephisto finished. _"Robbie my lad, always remember, when you find a good one then don't let her get away"._

Johnny had a few lost girlfriends stories as well.

_..._

_..._

 

Some off and on again discussions of Illyana.

 

_"She's nuts right now. Psychotic episode. Off her meds as it were... um... that's an allegory Robbie, she's not actually on any meds"._

 

 _"So what the heck can we do"?!_ Complained Robbie.

 

 _"I'm not really in the advise business Robbie and somehow I don't think Johnny would actually trust such advice"._ Mephisto said with a devilish grin as he offered Lassie a slice of pizza.

 

 _"Damn straight"!_ Was Johnny's comment.

 

Robbie refused to let the topic go. _"So let him speak his mind and then do the opposite"!_

 

Johnny refuted Robbie's premise _"He knows that and will give just the opposite advice"!_

 

A chuckle from Mephisto. _"Johnny's got my number, area code and all. Even if he's wrong sometimes. Can't trust the devil, now can we. Kind of reminds me of a paradox. Let's say I state I cannot tell the truth, then I state that the next statement I make is a lie. Well... what happens? If my next statement is a lie then my prior statement is the truth; but that means I told the truth. If my statement about the truth was a lie then my next statement is the truth. Either way I told the truth but I can't tell the truth so... paradox"._

Robbie didn't quite get the argument. _"So"?!_ was his response as he swerved to car to run over a small demon in the road.

There was a thump and the tires bounced a few times as Johnny answered. _"He means that my understanding is flawed"!_

_"Bingo Johnny, got it right for once! And your prize is knowing that... I don't know what to do. She's... she's lost. Been there, done that. I suppose if you could talk some sense to her it might make a difference, she so rarely gets that, but... well you'd first have to restrain her as I'm rather sure she's planning on putting that sword of her's where the sun don't shine. But hey, maybe I'm just lying now. Don't ask me I'm only visiting this planet... well dimension I guess. Problem being a devil Johnny is even when you give good advice nobody believes you. Hmm, you won't listen to me so time for a song. Need to flesh out the soundtrack budget with a few more tracks"._

With that the radio started to play the song Johnny Q Public by Larry Norman.

_Alice_ _is a drag queen_

_Bowie_ _somewhere in between_

_Other bands are looking mean_

_Me, I'm trying to stay clean_

_I don't dig the radio_

_I hate what the charts pick_

_Rock and roll may not be dead, but it's getting sick_

_All over the world, disc jockeys talk insane_

_Every town I play, it's like I wonder why I came_

_The Rolling Stones are Millionaires_

_The flower children pallbearers_

_Beatles said "All You Need is Love"_

_And then they broke up_

_River took an overdose_

_Kurt followed so close_

_The whole music scene and all the bands are pretty comatose_

_This time last year, people didn't want to hear_

_They looked at Jesus from afar_

_They say He's a superstar_

_Dear John_

_Who's more popular now?_

_'cause I've been listening to Paul's records, and I think he really is dead_

_It's 1994_

_Teen spirit has become a bore_

_Who's in power now?_

_I think I'll turn on the TV_

_Man on the news says Japan is gonna beat us_

_We shot all our dreamers, and there's no one left to lead us_

_We need a solution_

_We need salvation_

_So they sent some people to the moon to gather information_

_They brought back a big back of rocks_

_It only cost 13 million_

_Must be some really nice rocks_

_You think it's such a sad thing when you see a fallen king_

_Then you find out they are only princes to begin with_

_Everybody has to choose whether they will win or lose_

_Follow God or sing the blues_

_And who they're gonna sin with_

_What's the mess the world is in?_

_I wonder who began it_

_Don't ask me_

_I'm only visiting the planet_

_This world is not my home_

_I'm just passing on through_

Robbie summed it up well. _"What the hell does that mean"?!_

Mephisto materialized a thin cigar, pulled a long drag and exhaled. _"It means boys that the wisdom of the world is not correct. You'll likely disregard any advice I give because you think as the world thinks. That is the song's lament"._

_"Just more of your bullshit Mephisto_ "! Was Johnny's conclusion.

...

...

 

 

Even a talk on investing.

 

_"You always go for the quick profit Johnny. The hot juicy stock tip from a friend. And you always blow it. It's all about the Standard and Poor 500 Johnny. S &P500. Just buy the Vanguard index fund and leave it alone for a few decades. Don't take my word on it, just listen to the sage of Omaha himself, my old nemesis Warren Buffet. Ya see Robbie, it's all about asset allocation, low fees, and consistency. Almost nobody ever really beats market averages long term. Now take..."._

Johnny injected _"What a second, Warren Buffet is a nemesis"?!_

Mephisto had a slightly puzzled look. _"Well yea, you don't think he's really just human do you"?_

_"Ummm"_ Was Johnny's response.

 

 _"Who's Warren Buffet"?!_ Was Robbie's contribution to the conversation. Even the dog gave Robbie a sarcastic look in response.

 

 _"Robbie, Robbie, Robbie my boy... you really do need to do more then just look at the pictures in the girlie magazines"._ Was Mephisto's annoyed response.

...

_..._

But all road trips must come to an end.

 

**Part 13b: Illyana**

A remote rocky outcropping and above it a tornado of fire. And at the base of that tornado was a burning figure holding aloft a sword with its right hand while its left hand clenched something.

 

A scream of pain, a scream of a question repeated over and over. **" _WHO?! AM?! I"?!!_**

 

Nobody answered.

 

There was only the same song over and over again from the little box that she clutched.

 

...

...

_I've built walls,_

_A fortress deep and mighty,_

_That none may penetrate._

_I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain._

_It's laughter and it's loving I disdain._

_I am a rock,_

_I am an island._

_Don't talk of love,_

_But I've heard the words before;_

_It's sleeping in my memory._

_I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died._

_If I never loved I never would have cried._

_I am a rock,_

_I am an island._

...

...

 

It was I am a Rock by Simon & Garfunkel.

 

Finally with howl of rage she cast the box to the ground and stomped it to bits with a hoof. With that the tornado of fire slowly faded out and dissipated.

 

She couldn't break the binding, she couldn't remember who she was. The pain was too great. Every time she got close then... then... (Images of a child crying). It was too much. The pain was too... too... something. Something about her... something...

 

It must be them! Perhaps if they departed from existence then the binding would weaken.

 

With a flicker of light Illyana was gone.

 

But... one must wonder why that particular song was playing.

 

 

**Part 13c: Endings**

 

The song Don't come around here no more by Tom Petty & the heart breakers was playing on the radio as the car came around a bend in the road. A long straightaway beckoned before them and several miles down the road was the finish line!

 

They'd made it!

_Don't come around here no more_

_Don't come around here no more_

_Whatever you're looking for_

_Hey! don't come around here no more_

_I've given up, I've given up_

_I've given up on waiting any longer_

_I've given up, on this love getting stronger_

_I don't feel you any more_

_you darken my door_

_Whatever you're looking for_

_Hey! don't come around here no more_

_..._

_..._

 

 _"Yahoo"!_ Shouted Johnny. _"Finally, enough of this shit"!_

 

Robbie quipped as he floored it. _"Estoy de acuerdo bro, vamos a volar esta articulación y volver a casa. Let's get out of here"!_

 

Mephisto patted the both of them on the shoulders. _"You made it boys. I'm proud of ya"._

 

Even Lassie gave a howl of approval as the car roared and sped down the road.

 

The finish line was in sight... But… there was a figure standing in the center of the road about four hundred feet in front of the line. A burning figure with a raised sword.

 

 _"Shit! It's her! El diablo puta a sí misma_ "! Shouted Robbie. Lassie started to bark franticly. " _What do we do Johnny?! What do we do"?!_

 

What?!   What to do?! What to do?! Johnny franticly thought. Then a word of advice.

 

 _“Run her down”._ Mephisto whispered. _“It’s the only way. You’ll only get one chance before it’s her turn. Otherwise… this is where you die boys”._

 

 _“Do it Robbie! Do it”!_ Shouted Johnny as Robbie gunned the engine and put peddle to the metal. The engine rev gauge revved all the way to the right, right into the redline and then bent around the stop pin on the gauge. The car howled like the demon it was. Both of them focused on the car and put forth all of their might into the body of the car.

 

Illyana swung her sword just as the car was about to impact her. And as she swung Johnny had a sudden flash of insight.

 

_“Shit! When did I start listening to Mephisto”?!_

 

There was a huge obscuring flaming explosion. Debris and car parts went in all directions.

 

The V-8 engine block, still screaming at the redline, emerged and bounced down on the road a few times before digging a long trench as it came to a stop and burned.

 

When the flames and smoke finally cleared there was Illyana still standing in the center of the road. The explosion had apparently ejected Robbie and Johnny from the car. They had been blown backwards about a hundred feet and were sprawled upon the ground.

 

Mephisto stepped out of a smoky cloud that was by the side of the road, Lassie was at his side looking now very demonic. Her skin was in tatters, like it had been a costume, and Lassie was now rather larger, coarse black haired, very large jaws, red eyes, and drooling bloody saliva. Mephisto was absent mindedly scratching the dog behind her ears.

 

Mephisto had a smile of complete vicious delight and triumph as Illyana paid him no mind, in fact she acted like he wasn’t even there.

 

She raised up her left hand and both Robbie and Johnny levitated into the air and assumed a crucified pose. Both of them groggily regained consciousness as they hung there. A ball hellfire ignited in Illyana’s left palm (this was Johnny’s hellfire that she had captured oh so long before. Captured and... altered).

 

Illyana snarled _“Spirits of vengeance. I... wonder… how well you deal with receiving your own… punishment”._

 

With this Illyana enveloped the two of them in fire and they screamed and writhed in remembered suffering of one whom they had caused pain.

 

Illyana's pain.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, the end is near. Been a fun ride as it were. One more chapter after this. I hope all of you now "get" Mephisto was up to. Sauteli maN is a Hindi phrase for... well I'll let you figure that out.
> 
> As always comments greatly welcomed.

**Part 14a: Vengeance (Part 1)**

 

Pain! Such pain!

 

Johnny and Robbie writhed on the invisible crosses that they were nailed upon.

 

A dual faced crying woman. Screaming in pain, screaming in loss. One side of the face was the blond Illyana that they had seen in Mexico City, the other side of the face was a unknown black haired girl was a scared face.

 

The pain of losing everything.

The pain of believing you caused somebody that you care for to lose everything.

 

Losing their parents.

Losing their friends.

Losing themselves.

Being rejected by everybody.

 

The pain Illyana held herself responsible for so resembled her own internal pain. So closely resembled what had happened to her that the boundaries had blurred.

 

The belief that she had condemn a child to suffer a fate that Illyana had suffered was one thing, but to condemn a child that she was feeling actual maternal feelings for; not that she had yet admitted that to herself.

 

That... that had been too much. It had resulted in an amplifying feedback loop until she'd shut it down by cancelling the ability to feel.

 

The flames that surrounded her were in part still the hellfire that Johnny had caste, blocking her attempts to free herself as the pain waited like a wolf at the edge of the campfire.

 

The pain was always there, a pain she could no longer fully name. A pain about somebody she didn't know anymore.

 

Mephisto just watched Illyana inflict the suffering upon Johnny and Robbie. Watched and sometime hummed a few bars of I am Rock, I am an Island.

 

 

**Part 14b: Vengeance (Part b)**

 

Johnny and Robbie screamed for a length of time they could no recall afterwards. Finally Illyana spoke, well shouted actually.

 

**_“Scream you bastards! Scream! How do you like it when you are afflicted by…”_ **

A sudden look of confusion on Illyana’s flaming blast furnace of a face. “ ** _By_** _… **I** …I… I don’t… remember…”._

 

Then a hardening of her expression and a scream of dismay. **_"YOU TOOK ME FROM ME"!_** She raised up her sword to...

 

She hesitated. Something was coming in for a landing.

 

A very tired Booger gliding in for a landing with a rather grubby Sapna on his back (it had been a long journey).

 

Mephisto suddenly looked concerned. Just like Illyana, they paid him no mind.

 

Sapna jumped off of Booger’s back and ran up to Illyana. _“Illyana”!_

 

Illyana stared at Sapna and replied with a tone and look of dread. _“Who… who are you child”?_

 

 _“Sapna_ _”_ answered Sapna as she stopped in front of Illyana. “ _What… what happened to you? Why are you all… flamie”?_

 

 _"I..."._ Illyana's pain flared up again. Even worse then before. Illyana howled in torment causing Sapna to step back from her in confusion.

 

 _"You are harm to me child! I..."._ A small thought of striking Sapna down and the pain was even worse. Far worse! **No! Not that! NEVER THAT! FLEE!**

 

The flaming Illyana began to back away from Sapna. _"You... I'm.... bad"!_ Illyana turned to flee.

 

Sapna fell to her knees and began to cry.

 

_“NO! Don't go! Don’t you leave me too! **NO!** Not you as well! Everybody leaves me! I… I’m bad! **It’s my fault!** Please don’t leave me Illyana! Please! Please! Please! I promise to be good! I promise! Please… Please…. Please… PLLLLEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEE. I love you Sauteli maN. Please don't' go Sauteli maN. I want my Sauteli maN! **Mama NO** ”!_

Sapna collapsed upon the ground \ weeping.

 

Illyana hesitated, turned and looked upon the weeping child, then… then...

 

The flames sputtered and went out reveling a human Illyana with a face drenched in her own tears.  She took a hesitant step in Sapna’s direction, and then quickly ran to her and knelt besides Sapna and enveloped her in a fierce hug. Sapna hugged her back and cried her eyes out.

 

 _“I’m so sorry Sapna_ _… I’m so sorry for you”_. Was Illyana’s repeated phrase as she rocked Sapna back and forth.

 

Illyana also murmured an occasional _"Such a brave brave girl"._

 

The fire that enveloped Johnny and Robbie had sputtered out when Illyana's flames had died.

 

 

**Part 14c: Fire's ashes**

 

Mephisto sighed in disappointment. So close… he'd been so close. Well, at least this little episode had been wildly entertaining. He and the dog left the two crying females and wandered over to the crucified Johnny and Robbie.

 

He took off his red cowboy hat and flicked some imaginary dirt off of it. _“Gents”_ was his greeting as he looked up upon the two.

 

 ** _“Bastard”!_** Was Johnny’s response. _“You lying bastard! You set us up”!_

 

Mephisto tisked at Johnny.

 

_“Wrong yet again in so many ways Johnny my lad. Golly gosh darn you just can’t get anything right today. That was all just you and your Bro. Me? I tried to make some lemonade out of the gigantic mass of crushed lemons you boys created. Almost succeeded but for the brattling. Ah well, better to have tried and failed then never to have tried at all. And for the record I don't recalling telling a single lie to you today”._

 

_“I thought you were here protecting your investments”?!_

 

_“I was Johnny, I was. But… who wouldn’t exchange pair of marginal pawns for a truly magnificent queen? Now that would have been the best deal in a lonnnnngggg long time. Oh… the things we would have done together… Well, perhaps some other time. Look on the bright side, we got to spend some real quality time together and I even got me a new dog. Plus I've been needing a break and this fit the bill oh so well"._

Mephisto continued.

_"Oh, Robbie I said I'd explain later about the hunt vs. the kill. Well, I was hunting really big game, her as it were. Think tiger, and you were the staked out goats. No offense meant by the way. The kill is always fun but... stalking and hunting tends to be where the real enjoyment._

Mephisto got a bit expressive with his arms and started waving his hat around. _"I mean Johnny... driving a hell Lord mad? That hasn't happened since... well not for a while. Ahh guilt, the biggest pain of all and you served it up oh so well"._

 

Johnny struggled to have a response. _"I'll tell her it was all your doing"!_

Mephisto just chuckled. _"Just go right ahead Johnny. Bit a problem as it's your word against... well nothing as I was never here and had nothing to do with it. You did it all Johnny. I didn't even notice until after she went mad. I tend to follow a hands off policy with her"._

_"I mean Johnny, do I look that stupid? Dead Belasco is one thing but dead elder gods? Dead Dormmanu? I mean... Smart and swavy devil here so not ever putting my head on that chopping block. But... when two clueless duffuses manage to do it... well... Opportunity knocking and all that"._

Mephisto sighed. _"Once in a lifetime opportunity as well. She'll probably never be venerable like that again. But... I did find me a new critter so not a total waste of time, plus I really did have a great time hanging with you boys. If you survive, remember to see the film the Vanishing Point. The ending is so... reminiscent of what just happened. Got to watch out for those immovable objects"._

 

Mephisto looked down and spoke to Lassie. _“What say you Lassie? I got's me a whole herd of free range Timmies that could use your unique management skills”._

 

_“Bark bark, **grrrr** ”._

 

_“Deal! Oh you’re gunna love it down there girl! Hell’s always looking for that can do attitude and I can tell you’re my kind of bitch”!_

 

**_“Bark”!_ **

 

Mephisto put his hat back on. _“Well just look at the time. Must be moving on, places to go, people to kill. You know how it is Johnny... Remember that offer Robbie, I am a man of my word; just ask your Bro here. Although I must say I like you Robbie, such… potential. If you boys survived I'll send you some courtside Lakers tickets as a congratulations gift"._

_"Yea right"_ was Johnny's lame retort.

 

Mephisto smiled and replied _"Johnny... you don't really think that's Jack Nicolson sitting there? Love my Lakers! Love them! Think of it as a taste of what could be Robbie. Robbie here's a final bit of advice, remember to read the fine print in contracts, again just ask Johnny. Hope you boys survive… Well toodles, been one hell of a good time”!_

 

And with that Mephisto and Lassie faded away.

 

 

**Part 14d: Reckoning**

 

 

 _“We’re fucked aren’t we Bro”?_ Asked Robbie as he tried to pull himself off of the invisible cross (to no avail). _"A veces realmente te odio Johnny"._

 

Robbie continued. _"She's distracted now... Maybe if we combined all of our powers then one of us cold break free and take her down before she has a chance to react"._

 

It wasn't a good plan, but it was the best option remaining. Johnny braced himself and then... then... Then Johnny hesitated and remembered something that Mephisto had mentioned in passing. He then relaxed.

 

_"No Robbie. Watch and follow my lead"._

 

_"Yea... like that worked real well last time Bro"!_

 

_"Shut up Robbie and do as I do"._

Robbie responded with a rather vulgar opinion as to Johnny's ability to plan or even the ability to know what to do with a porta-potty.

 

Johnny did not respond to Robbie, instead he transformed back into his human form and shouted. _“We’re sorry Miss Rasputin! We really really are truly sorry! My name is Johnny Blaze and this is my brother Robbie! We... thought you were a demon going to attack the crowd and everything we did was a very bad idea"!_

 

Illyana looked up at the two. Illyana had been busy comforting Sapna, or was it the other way around? (It was rather hard to tell as both were comforting each other while Booger had been wrapped his body wrapped around the two of them).

 

Booger unwrapped himself, wandered over, and looked up at the two of them and growled like an angry four hundred pound pit bull with really big teeth.

 

Illyana stood up and helped Santa to her feet. Several unpleasant emotions flashed across her face as she thought upon what had just happened and the two… irritants before her.

 

Kill them?

Torture them?

Torture and then kill?

Hmm I suppose one could kill, bring back, torture, and then kill again… Yea! That’d be fun! We have a winner!

 

Her eyes began to glow and her hair started to smolder.

 

But then Illyana thought about Sapna and the need for Sapna to see examples of good behavior.

 

Sigh… Shards being good was such a hassle at times and they just so deserved it. Illyana suppose this is what parenting feels like. Damn it, parenting just takes so much fun out of things.

 

“ _Who are they Magik”?_ Asked a sniffling Sapna who was half hiding behind Illyana (she remembered to use Illyana's field name).

_“Two… entities who will never bother us again. Isn’t that right… boys? You will never ever bother me or mine again”._

 

Both Johnny and Robbie enthusiastically nodded their heads in agreement.

 

_"You owe me for my... forbearance. I claim three services from you either singularly or jointly"._

Again Johnny and Robbie nodded their heads in agreement and voiced their oaths.

 

Illyana clenched her right hand and two teleportation disks appeared and whisked the Hell Riders away (and straight into the sewers of Mexico City where they found themselves befouled beyond belief).

 

_“Come on Sapna_ _, I… we have a bit of a mess to go clean up in Mexico. Have you... have you ever had a churro?”_

 

 _“No… what’s a churro”?_ Sapna asked as she continued to sniffle.

 

Illyana materialize a handkerchief and had Sapna blow her nose real hard. _“Something delicious for good little girls”._

 

With a flicker of light Illyana and Sapna were gone and Kurt was rescued. And yes Sapna found that she loved churros (she had two).

 

Ah fresh sweet crunchy cinnamon fried dough. Almost as good as a chocolate chip cookie for an upset child.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to ShadowSaiyan316 as it was his idea that created this story. Rather liked how I was able to do some explorations of Illyana and Sapna interactions. Bit of a precursor to what is happing currently in the comics with Illyana an Sapna. And extra thanks for those who commented as well (Rider Paladin and Lord Grise).
> 
> Been fun folks. And I did have them swear an oath to Illyana so in the future there might be more stories. Time will tell.

**Part 15: Epilogue1**

It was twilight, that same day, at the Jean Grey School, as much as twilight ever happens in Limbo; think really red sunset. Illyana, Sapna, and Booger were in the memorial garden by themselves.

 

Illyana was sitting down and leaning her back upon a resting Booger. Sapna was asleep curled up against Booger and had her head reading against Illyana's lap. Besides them were three empty bowls that had once held ice cream, although Booger's bowl was much larger then the other two.

 

Illyana was lightly stroking Sapna's hair as the song The Sound of silence by Simon & Garfunkel played on her newly restored iPod.

_Hello darkness, my old friend_

_I've come to talk with you again_

_Because a vision softly creeping_

_Left its seeds while I was sleeping_

_And the vision that was planted in my brain_

_Still remains_

_Within the sound of silence_

 

_In restless dreams I walked alone_

_Narrow streets of cobblestone_

_Neath the halo of a streetlamp_

_I turned my collar to the cold and damp_

_When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light_

_That split the night_

_And touched the sound of silence_

_And in the naked light I saw_

_Ten thousand people, maybe more_

_People talking without speaking_

_People hearing without listening_

_People writing songs that voices never share_

_No one dare_

_Disturb the sound of silence_

_“Fools” said I, “You do not know_

_Silence like a cancer grows_

_Hear my words that I might teach you_

_Take my arms that I might reach you”_

_But my words like silent raindrops fell_

_And echoed in the wells of silence_

_And the people bowed and prayed_

_To the neon god they made_

_And the sign flashed out its warning_

_In the words that it was forming_

_And the sign said “The words of the prophets_

_Are written on the subway walls_

_And tenement halls_

_And whispered in the sounds of silence”_

The song finished and all was quiet for a while.

 

Then Kurt made an appearance, not by Bamfing in, but instead by slowly walking up.

 

 _"Hello Kurt"_ murmured Illyana. She didn't want to talk too loud and awaken Sapna.

 

 _"How is the little one"_ whispered Kurt.

 

_"Tired, worn out. It's been a stressful day for us both"._

 

Kurt sat down next to Illyana. Booger gave him a suspicious look but Illyana was ok with his presence so Booger did nothing.

 

" _Do you wish to talk about it_ "? Was his whispered question.

_"No"._

_"No"?_

 

_"No. I... don't want to talk about it"._

 

Kurt says nothing and they both sat there for awhile.

 

Illyana never talked about her pain with others. Never shared. Never let folks in. But... Kitty's and Emma's advice was contrary to her instinctual behaviors and... well... avoid the mistakes of the past by not doing the behaviors of the past. But... trust is very hard for one such as her.

 

Illyana finally continued. _"But... But I think I... need to talk about it"._

_..._

**Part 15b: Epilogue2**

_"Damn it Johnny, is the smell ever going to fade"?_ Complained Robbie. _"I mean I wash, I scrub, I transform, but nothing. Olemos como basura deja pudrir! We still totally smell of..."._

 

_"Shit. Yea Robbie I know... I know"._

 

Gee, turns out that when you smell of rancid feces the girls just don't want to hang with your. Not to mention that bars and restaurants kicked you out. Hell even the bums complained.

 

_"Damn it! We have those Lakers tickets tonight from Mephisto with the invite to the Lakers girl party afterwards"!_

Bummer. And no they didn't go that night. Eventually the small faded.

 

Eventually...

 

 

**Part 15c: Epilogue3**

 

Somewhere and somewhen, Mephisto was in a bar talking about the one that got away…

 

_“…this big I tell ya. She was this big…”._

He wasn't talking about her height. Sigh... he was describing her... well I'll let you figure that out.


End file.
